Happy 28th Birthday Bro

I haven't had a chance to finish updating last year yet but I really feel that I need to post so that when I ever turn my blog into books I have this. I had a melt down last night. My life feels that it has been falling apart. Nothing seems to be working the way I thought at all. Yes a big part of it is our living situation and I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about it but live in someone else's house for two years and then we will talk. I have been feeling very alone living with Blaine's family and them getting together every week for dinner is rough. I have my grandma here and don't get me wrong I think if she wasn't here I would die. I call her a few times a day and it is very comforting to know that she is only a few miles away and she tries to help me with my kids as much as she can.  With my parents in Colorado but it is still hard. I think this year is hard cuz my kids have been sick I ended up with strep Blaine has been gone a lot so I am even more one edge. Ryan has been gone now for 22 years and normaly his birthday isn't the hard one. This year it's his birthday and then Saturday it is Emily's 5th birthday. It's not like the dates change they are always on the same day every year. I am really struggling with them both. I will post about Emily this weekend cuz I need to try and sleep for a little bit. I just wanted to say that today turned out to be a good day. I have seen people post on Facebook about how they do things to remember there loved ones every year. Around 9:30 I called gma and said let's go to Sonic for Ryan's birthday. Yes we have a story for why. She loved the idea so I loaded the kids and headed over to meet her. The story of Sonic is when we where living in El Paso my dad drove ambulance and we would go visit him at the hospital. There is a sonic down the hill and we loved to take a ride in the ambulance to go get food. Ryan was a ladies man from the time he was born till the time that he died. He knew all the girls who worked at sonic by name and they would always give him free stuff. Lets remember folks he was only like 31/2 to 4 years old. He loved the tots and fries so I made sure to order some of that. So yes today was a good day. Happy Birthday little brother I so wish you where hear with me. You are my best friend and now you are taking care of my baby Emily until I have the chance to. I do feel you near me but I know that you are where you are suppose to be doing what you are suppose to be doing.

 

 

Lunch at Sonic we had Cameron, Gracie , Zander and Gma. We got some of Ryan's favorites like Tots with Cheese.