The Crazy Matthews

Emily's 4th Birthday

2012-01-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

Crash and some other Cute stuff

2012-01-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

Limo Ride 2012

2012-01-11T12:40:00.003-08:00

Ryan had his Limo ride. He had a fundraiser right after school started and in order to ride in the limo to Peter piper Pizza he had to sale 20 items. All I can say it's a good thing we have a big family. He got his 20 items in October but had to wait until January for his prize. Since I am on the PTO board this year I know stuff that is going on and I got to go as one of the chaperone's. I got to go last year but that was because I was lucky and they didn't have as many kids sale things. This year we had a ton of kids and had to do two different loads of kids. I got to go with Ryan's group and that I was really happy about. The big kids would have driven me crazy. Before all the fun stuff at Peter Piper happened we first had to get the kids in the Limo. Normally this would have been okay however about 10 minuets before we started to call kids out of classes an announcement came over the school intercom telling everyone to get inside and not come out of the building till further notice. I was in the Library we called the office to see if the school was going on lock down or not and she said no but they found a javelina on the playground. The funny thing is when this happened all the kids except for one classroom was outside. They called animal control and started fallowing/chasing it around the school grounds. I wouldn't of believed it if I didn't see it for myself. It was a good size and as soon as we heard it was off school grounds but running towards Lindsay we got all the kids out since our limo was sitting there waiting for us and to top it all off the kids got out of school early all that week so we where on a time limit not only for the limo but school getting out as well. Then we heard on the radio that it was running back towards us at the school so we got all the kids in the limo and took off. I later found out that Joe Pico helped catch it in front of his house until Animal Control got there. before we left we saw a couple animal control trucks as well as a couple of Mesa Pd around the area.

After we got to Peter Piper the kids where super excited. We got what kind of pizza they wanted and then sent them of to play. It was nice to see that Ryan was having a blast and I didn't have to help him this year as much as last year with playing the games. After we got our food they got to play for a little longer then trying to get them to use all the tickets for the prize counter always takes a while but we got out at a pretty good time. Since we just had to lad the kids at the school any one who wanted to get pictures had to do it at Peter Piper.

These are the kids from Ryan's class that got to go. I think he has a crush on Amaya. She was in his class last year and he has never put his arm around anyone before. The other little girl is McKenzie.

Mommy and Ryan and baby Gracie

Funny Dec Pics

2011-12-29T15:39:00.000-08:00

Just had to share some cute pictures that I got during the month of December.

Ryan came home from school with this very cool hat. The cooler part was that he had it on his head. It has taken him till now at 1st grade for him to actually put these hats that they make on his head. He has always had problems with this so it is fun to see him doing stuff like this on his own.

Cameron decided that he was going to an attack me he thought it was funny however his baby sister who is in my tummy didn't think it was that fun. Thank goodnes I saw him coming and turned on my side.

Everyone get Daddy. Yep Papa even got in on this action. Blaine was trying to get the boys to walk on his back. It didn't turn out so well. Ryan is sitting on Blaines head poor Daddy I bet you he wishes he was at school now.

Cameron loves taking care of his Baby Gracie. He is going to be such a good big brother one the real baby Gracie comes.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T15:37:00.000-08:00

This year Santa went to Gma Birds house. Since we are living with Blaine's parents it was just easier to have santa come there that way things wouldn't get confused and we normally have Gma Bird over for Biscuits and Gravy after we open presents. We had our Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve with Gma Bird. This was the loot that Santa left for our kiddos. We got up Christmas morning and headed over the boys got really excited.

Thank goodness our kids don't care if the stuff they get is new or not. Ryan told me that he wanted Super Mario Brothers Game for the Wii for like 3 months. He had gone to Flagstaff with Gma Matthews to take apples and Kenny had the game. Ever since then anytime we would walk by it at the store or he saw it in the ads he would make sure I knew that he wanted it. I figured since the game was a year old that it wouldn't be so expensive but I was wrong and I didn't want to pay $50.00 for a game. Thank goodness for Game Stop and them having used games. It didn't come in the fancy case but we don't keep those anyway so he was super excited when he pulled that out of his stocking.

Ryan got this super cool new radio control truck with a trailer. To bad daddy broke it later that afternoon but daddy also got a remote control car so it was a good thing his still works.

Cameron is addicted to Angry Birds. So he thought that this pig was the coolest thing ever.

Don't worry we didn't leave out Gma Bird. Her DVD player stopped working so we got her a new one and set it up for her and she was super happy.

Flagstaff Family Visits

2011-12-23T14:59:00.000-08:00

A few days before Christmas Janna, Madison, Buddy, Kenny, Kaylee and Tenley came down for a quick Christmas. Even though they only stayed one night all the kids had fun. Ryan was so excited to see Kenny. It was fun to watch them open all the gifts they got then all the kids went to play in there different directions. Cameron thought Tenley was cute and gave her toys to play with.

Then Cameron decided that he need some popcorn. Now Cameron does not share his popcorn and if you think that you can sneak one you are wrong. Tenley saw that he was eating something so she came over and wanted some. Lets just say that didn't turn out so well. Cameron threw a major fit so we made Tenley her own bowl. Audrey gave her some popcorn and it was the first time she had it and loved it.

Blaine was eating some stuff in the kitchen when Tenley came in wondering what he had. That little girl can eat. It was so cute to see Blaine with Tenley can't wait to see him with our little girl.

Hall of Flame

2011-12-17T14:57:00.000-08:00

Papa Bird came down from Colorado to bring Christmas presents. Nana was going to come but she got the flu so she ended up staying home. I had gotten Hall of Flame passes at Island Fest and they expired in Dec since I have never been there and my dad use to be a fireman we thought it would be fun plus it was free. I will say it was really cool to see all the really old firetrucks however there is not much for little kids but we got through it. They did have one truck that the kids could climb on as well as a little kid area with some toys. Like I said it was free so it all worked out. My dad on the other hand thought it was super cool to see firetrucks/wagons from 1800's plus newer ones. We did get some cute pics so all in all it was a good day.

Tree

2011-12-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

We finally got a tree last weekend. We always get a real tree cuz we love the smell. Since we are living with my in laws I figured that we would use her pre-light tree but Blaine said something about getting a real tree and she said that we could. So that was nice but we waited a couple weekends to go and get it really cuz Blaine had Clipper weekend and that is always super crazy. Also with it being a real tree we figured waiting till the 2nd weekend that it would help the tree not dry out so while I was at work Saturday the boys went and got a great tree. We put the tree on top of the coffee table once cuz the table is pretty big and with everyone that will be here for Christmas we needed more room. So they got a 5 1/2 ft tree set it on top of the table and it looked perfect. Ryan helped put up the ornaments but when we where all done he was bummed that we didn't put our ornaments up. Our family's tree is a miss mosh of handmade ornaments and some from places where we have been plus one that my brother and I had on our tree growing up at my Grandparents house. Ryan begged for the train ornaments so Blaine told him he would go and find it for him. The bad news it was in the far back corner of our unit but he still found it. So we have gmas perfect matching ornaments on the tree and our train ornaments that only works for a 1/4 of the time since it is over 20 years old.

The boys still had a lot of fun hanging all the balls on gmas tree so all in all everything worked out good.Hopefully next year will be back to normal and we will have our own place and own tree.

Ryan is such a little cheese ball

31 weeks and still going good

2011-12-15T20:27:00.000-08:00

Sorry no pictures this time
I had my 31 week check up yesterday with my OB. I am now seeing him every two weeks. So far so good on the baby front. He is happy with my moderate bed rest. I am really trying to stay off the drugs cuz they do really bad things to me but they are defiantly not out of the question however we are almost to that point where it doesn't matter anymore. I told the doctor that I needed just to get through this Sunday and my choir program and then she can come. I have worked really hard on it and I am pretty sure that it will be my last choir thing. I hope to get a break from that calling shortly.
The good news is that I am measuring a week a head and the Doctor said that if she doesn't come before the 7th of February that will be the day he will induce me however with all the contractions that I have he is pretty sure I will go towards the end of January. We will know a little more on January 14th we will try that day to decided what break in classes Blaine will take. He can take one block off and he has three week blocks so we are going to try and figure out what this baby has planned and go from there.

Triplets Turn 1

2011-12-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

On the 13th the babies turned 1. It was Ellen's turn to cook so we all went out to her house Gma Matthews made a cake for each baby. it was really funny to see how different each baby is when it came to cake time. Shelley brought over high chairs for the kids so they could sit at the table.

Notice Jared he doesn't have his bib on yet and he is already going for his cake. He knew right what to do.

Mark just ate his cake with his two little fingers. He would just take little pinches off the cake so only his thumb and index finger got dirty.

Then Becky was super funny. People kept trying to get her to touch her cake and she kept reaching for something and we finally figured out she wanted a fork. As soon as she had it she put it into her cake. It's just funny that she wanted something to eat her cake with.

The Roof

2011-12-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

This post is going to be the death of me. I have done this 4 times now because the other three haven't saved. Long story short cuz I am tired of typing it is two weeks before Christmas we had a really nice rain storm. One night before Blaine went to bed he noticed a bubble in the roof next to the TV. Blaine and his dad poked a hole in it to get the water out and let it drain into a bowl. The next day you could see that the drywall was really wet and soggy to the touch. I said a couple of times that is going to fall and when it does I hope my kids are not under it. That night sure enough it fell. Ryan was in bed Gary had gone to do some Christmas shopping Cameron was in the living room watching TV and eating chips Linda was cutting out the bumpers for Gracies cradle and I was sitting at the kitchen table. All of a sudden I hear a woosh and a huge cloud of crap fall to the floor. Yep the ceiling came down along with a ton of insulation. I couldn't see Cameron so I ran into the other room yelling for Cameron. The biggest heaviest part of the dry wall fell less than a foot from Cameron. He was a little freaked out to say the least. We called Danny up from the basement had him call his dad to come home then started to clean stuff up. The the bright idea of this is an old house I wonder if this has asbestos in it. So I left the room. There was so much particles in the air I could feel stuff in my nose and was coughing up a storm. My brother in law came over with his super duty shop vac and plastic to cover the hole to get us through the night.

Funny thing is that the roof was replaced here this summer so it shouldn't of been leaking. Really long story short. Gary called the roofing company they came out a few days later trying to fix it. Said that the leak was from the old AC unit flashing blagh blagh blagh. I am writing this post in February and it still isn't done. They came to fix the leak and said it would be done by Christmas so you know that didn't happen. Cameron didn't like the hole and would run really fast under it to get away. At least it isn't an open hole anymore it is drywalled but that is it.

25 weeks and 5 days

2011-11-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

To most people when they are pregnant this is just another day that you most likely don't even think about. To me this is kind of a milestone. I was 25 weeks and 5 days when Emily was born. I have had mixed emotions for this day with this pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Cameron I knew when the day came but it really didn't affect me the only reason I could think of is because I was having a boy. This time I am having a girl and having been keeping to together I think for the most part. I am happy because I have made it this far. I know that as of right now I am not having the same problems I did with Emily that all stopped at 16 weeks another thing that I am happy for. It is interesting cuz when I talked to the doctor he said that after I hit this point it could go one of two ways. My anxiety would be over cuz I made it this far and everything would be happy and fine. Or the anxiety would stay because this is now uncharted territory with a girl for me. I am trying to hold it together but unfortunately it is number 2. I am happy I have made it this far but at the same time I am more scared now than I was even yesterday. I am doing what the doc said and not holding in how I feel and after all the many years of therapy I have gotten during my life you would think that I would be able to talk about feelings better but not. I do okay when I put it on paper but when it comes to actually talking out loud about what is going on in my head that gets a little harder to do. I know that my experience with Emily was not normal so I am really trying to keep a level head about this but it is hard. Knowing that if Emily wouldn't of gotten my infection at her age and weight she most likely would have been fine just a super preemie is hard to take in sometimes. I get nervous with this pregnancy because baby Gracie is giving me a lot of contractions and I am on moderate bed rest. I don't have to be in bed all the time but I have to limit my activity and how much I sit. My doctor is great he has told me if I want to come in every other week to hear the heart beat I can. So far I am trying not to do that we will see what Friday's ultrasound brings. He has ordered it mostly to make me calm down but also to make sure that I am not dilating. I hope after Friday to calm down a little I guess that is why I have really not wanted to do much today.

Trunk or Treats 2011

2011-10-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

OMG I can't tell you what a crazy night it was tonight. Shelley and Ellen's ward had a Trunk or Treat tonight so we went out there around 6ish to take the boys. Now before all of that happened Ryan had a little bit of a melt down. He had asked earlier in the day if we could go to Carls Jr. on Country Club with the play place. We told him we will see. In his mind that means in a little while. Well we didn't have time to drive all the way to Country Club and then back out to the Trunk or treat on Power and McDowell so we said that we couldn't do it tonight. Well that broke his heart and he cried and cried and almost didn't go to the Trunk or Treat. We got good pizza (Barros not the cheep little ceasers) tonight and at first he didn't want that either. Eventually three pieces later he was better. Not only was he tired but also hungry. If that wasn't enough he didn't want to put on his vest for his crossing guard costume. Back story on this Ryan got a stop sign that comes off the pole for his bikes. He copies the crossing Gardie from the school ALL THE TIME. Even when he crosses the street he will hold his hand up like he has a stop sign in his hand. I figure great all he has to do is put on a vest so he doesn't even have to dress up much. Now the vest is for an adult and he didn't like the way it fit. I pinned it up a little but it was a huge fight with lots of tears eventually saying he didn't want to go. Then he ate and I told him he only had to put on the vest for a picture. He was okay with that so I got my picture.

Cameron the Pirate
Cameron has really fallen in love with the show Jake and the Neverland Pirates on Disney Jr. He sings all the songs does all the dances and can quote most of the shows. That is what you get when you have a mom that can't do anything we watch a lot of TV and I'm okay with that for now. So a while back I asked him if he wanted to be a pirate for Halloween. he said arrgg so I figured that meant yes in Pirate. Well when it was time to get dressed he changed his mind. He kept saying owe i don't like it I can't anything he could think of to get it off of him.

How many grown men does it take to put a two year old in his costume. He is one strong little bugger.
They did eventually get it on him though.

Daddy even gave him his phone to try and make him feel better. It took a while but he did calm down and feel better. Papa got home and he ran into the kitchen and said look papa i a pirate.

It took a little convincing but I was able to get a picture of both boys before we left. Ryan said he wasn't going to bring his vest but I told him that I would take it just in case he wanted it when we got to the Trunk or Treat and he said that was okay for now.

Look who decided to put on his vest. It was funny on the way over Blaine kept talking to him about if he didn't put his vest on that cars wouldn't be able to see him. So as soon as we got to the church he asked to put it on. He would hold his stop sign whenever we walked in the road and the funny thing was some of the kids actually stopped so he thought it was great.

Cameron wasn't so sure about the Tunk or Treating thing but as long as Daddy would walk up to the cars with him he was okay. And never complained about his costume at all.

Ryan helped not only us but a few other people cross the street on our way back to our car. He also never complained about his vest anymore. When we got home tonight I showed him these pictures and he could see what he daddy meant when he said that when lights hit his vest it would glow and he thought that was awesome.

All in all once we got tot he Trunk or Treat both boys had a good time and didn't mind the costumes so we will see how it goes on Monday for our Trunk or Treat.

Dewitt Farms

2011-10-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

So this is the 2nd time trying to do this post. I thought it had saved but I guess not. Last Friday all the kids got out of school at 1:55 cuz it was the last day of early release for parent teacher conferences. Linda had found out about the Dewitt farm just down the hill in Lehi so Linda and Shelley decided to take all the kids when the big kids got out of school. I of course couldn't go cuz I am kind of on house arrest so I was a little bummed about that especially when I saw the pictures. The paper said that they had a petting area, little maze for the kids, bounce house and horse rides. I figured Cameron would like the animals cuz he is my little animal man. Ryan can really care less about them he would rather jump or do something like that.

I was so glad that Linda got some super cute pictures of the kids. Cameron went into the petting area and just went in and picked up this chicken.

This poor chicken looks like he is trying to get away from Cameron

My boys going for a wagon ride. Ryan was even leaving his zoo hat on I was really impressed.

I saw this picture and I was super shocked. Yes that is Ryan on a horse. This is a HUGE HUGE thing. He didn't want Gmas help or anything. They had a guide for the horse but he was okay to do it with just the guide.

I am so dang proud of this kid. I guess he road three different horses and he loved it. I am so sad that I missed this but I know I was suppose to be home.

He looks so grown up. Great Job RyRy

Not to be out done by his brother Cameron loved the horse.

I am so proud of both of my little boys. Hopefully next year we will be able to do all of this fun stuff together as a family. It has been rough with Blaine being in school and working full time and me having a rough pregnancy. We just have to keep looking on the bright side of life that next year we will be in a better place and we will have another little one to take cute pictures of. My boys will be great big brothers to there little sister.

Cute Pictures

2011-10-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

So I am still really far behind on blogging but I found some cute pictures on my phone tonight from last last month or so. I decided I better get them up before I loose track of them and have to play catch up even more.

I will start with today. Ryan has been to the nurse at school a few times in the past month. Today he fell and hurt his knee. Now one thing you have to know about Ryan is he will not put a band aid on even if he is bleeding to death. The last two visits to the nurse he has come home with band aids and she was even able to put medicine on him once. Huge deal. Today he came home with the brown band aid cuz he fell on the slide or something the story really didn't make any sense but whatever. The two camping band aid happened when he biffed it at Hollie's house. He goes there to ride on her bridge and today he was on his scooter took the corner to fast hit some little rocks and crashed hard. I was sitting on the bench out side so I didn't see it happen but I heard it. The lady from next door was out with her grandkids so she saw it and started walking him home as I was waddling down to Hollies. So we get home and of course he is going to die. We put two corn bags on his legs and he calms down and says he needs to go get some band aids. I was shocked and said fine. So he came back with his camping band aids and put them on all on his own. Now the really funny part is he said he couldn't walk. A few weeks ago I threw out my back and I couldn't stand up or really walk. It was really sad and I am very glad there are no pictures because I had to use my Gpa''s walker just to move. I spent 3 days at my gmas house so she could take care of Cameron and I. No the walker didn't come home with me because I live in a house of mostly boys and yes I said boys even though one is almost 70 and I would never hear the end of it if I had a walker around the house. So I used anything I could grab onto to walk super hunched over. So my drama we will say king of a son decided to do the same thing tonight with his skinned knee decided that he need the walls to walk it was pretty funny.

This is Cameron a few weeks ago. Gma did something with the pillows I had bought about a year ago. Cameron and Ryan got to choose what fabric they wanted and gma Matthews made a pillow case and I got enough fabric so that they had a matching blanket. Cameron picked Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is what he calls his and he loves to watch TV while on it.

This picture I wasn't so happy about. It was taken at 5:00pm. He had been fighting me taking a nap all day and I had worked really hard keeping him awake. I went to the bathroom and came out to find this. He was not very happy with me when I woke him up but I wanted to sleep that night so it was to bad for Cameron.

I love this little kid. He always has the best smile no matter how big a stinker he is.

I have a lot of pictures this time of Cameron since he and I have been spending a lot of time together. This was during nap time one day. He was really out and snoring just like his dad. I was also trying to take a nap but couldn't because of the snoring so Cameron lost his pillow and that made it a little better but not much.

This has become our nightly routine. Cameron and I go outside and wait for daddy to get home. The nice thing is Blaine has been getting out at 8:15ish so we wait for about 45 minuets outside but it keeps him away from his brother who is trying to go to sleep. We sing songs look at airplanes and wait. Most of the time it's not that big of a deal but sometimes it gets a little old.

Now this doesn't happen very often. This was a no nap day for Cameron and this was at 8:00 and they are both passed out. Notice that they are sleeping the same way just like daddy sleeps. It's so funny Blaine was super happy when I sent him this picture.

This was last Sunday and it was so funny. This was before church Blaine was out. After the weeks that he has with work and school he is pretty tired on the weekend. Cam climbed up on the recliner and got comfortable.

Every night when Blaine gets home Cameron takes his phone. This time he wanted to sit with dad when he played his game.

You can't tell but this was right after I gave Cameron a haircut but all you can see his super cute smile.

Emily's Blog

2011-09-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of doing this for a couple of years now and I have just finished it. I put a blog together that tells Emily's story and today I finished scanning in ultrasound pictures and going through pictures from three years ago. I just really cut and posted posts that I had already made but then added a couple new ones today. I have a couple of friends who have done this for the children that they have lost and I have finally got it done for mine. I am very glad that it is done and it actually brings me a little bit of comfort so I thought I would share it with you. To see it scroll down and click on Emily's little feet or go to www.emilyannematthews.blogspot.com

New Blog

2011-09-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

Yes I am making a new blog not sure why. I have toyed with the idea for a few years now and it is interesting why I am having the urge to do it now but I am. As soon as it is done I will go public with it. i have had friends make a blog telling the story of the loss of a baby. I don't know why after the basket case I have been the last few weeks but I have decide to do it and it is almost done. I know I am super behind on this blog and I will get back to it so stay tuned.

Afterthoughts

2011-09-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

It has been really interesting to see how I have changed since my last post. I did talk to my husband and he said he wasn't surprised and he had been expecting it. We talked a lot about it and he told me things I already knew but I guess wasn't thinking about. When I told him that I was afraid to ask for a blessing that he said that he could understand but he also said that I need to have the faith that everything will turn out okay. He said I need to start looking at the positive. My bleeding has stopped way earlier than it did with Cameron. Other than the eating thing there really hasn't been any complications. My gma said that every pregnancy is different and mine have been very different all stuff that I know and even say a lot. She told me that I need to enjoy this pregnancy. We don't have control over anything and whatever is going to happen will happen. That is true with everything in life. It is like people who are afraid to die. If that where the case you could never go outside of your house because you could get in a car accident ect. we can't and don't live in a bubble things are going to happen it matters how we handle them when they do. I have had a hard time thinking during my life that good things can happen to me and when they do it is okay and I deserve it. My childhood was pretty screwed up and I had a lot of bad things happen. However I had a lot of good things as well. As I talked to people about my last post and things that I have been feeling I have decided that I need to be happy. I am having a girl and as of right now there is noting to worry about. I will defenatly talk to my doctor about the anxiety that i am still feeling but the more I don't keep it bottled up the more I am starting to feel a little better. I did ask Blaine for a blessing the other night because I couldn't go through another night of no sleep. After that I have been sleeping better. So once again I need to have the FAITH that everything will be okay.
I have my normal doctor appointment on Friday and that will be good I started having some braxton hicks contractions I think mostly cuz I had to pick up Cameron today. He is up to about 36 pounds so I don't think that is a good idea anymore and I am sure the doctor is going to say the same thing. So I guess Cam and I will not be going out anymore without help. That's okay I have a ton of sewing to get started. So I am feeling a little better. I am not going to lie it is something that I am having to work on everyday but I promised myself and my husband that I would work on it.

Feelings

2011-09-24T21:28:00.000-07:00

Just an FYI this is for me to hopefully feel better if I get it out of my mind. Sometimes when I express things it relieves the stress. I hope that is the case but we will see.

I am really having a hard time putting everything that is going on in my mind into words. With that being said this could sound really stupid at least that is how I felt when I first talked about it earlier today. This pregnancy has been crazy. Very very different from any of my other ones. Ryan was pretty easy was able to keep working full time got sick at night and even with that it was off and on till about 8 months.
Emily well that is a huge story that I have already documented. She literally just about killed me. The doctors couldn't figure out why I lived. I miss her a lot. Sometimes I wish I would have been able to meet her but and this could sound bad to some but sometimes I am grateful that I didn't have to go through that. Yes I felt bonded with her I had her in my tummy for almost 26 weeks. I was bleeding with her pretty much from day one. That really was the worst thing with her was that I almost bled to death. I was a little sick but not horrible I was still able to eat .
Cameron was really the easy one. Yes I did have my bleeding problem with him till about 20 weeks. But I was really never worried that I would loose him I mean I had already had a boy so I knew I could do it.
Some of my friends that had lost babies told me that after I lost Emily when I would get pregnant again that I would be a basket case. That really wasn't the case. Like I said I knew I could handle boys. We found out pretty early on that Cameron was a boy and after that no problems. Other than him being big and having a perfectly round head nothing big.
Now on to this pregnancy I don't even know where to began. I had my normal bleeding problem but it went away at around 12ish weeks. Super early for me. You would think that I would be fine after that. Nope then I couldn't eat. No med helped I couldn't even keep water down. Ice chips was about all I could do. Ended up loosing 25 pounds in a month. Not good! I am still not up to where I need to be but I am doing better. I have NO cravings, no desire to eat half the time. I really have to force myself to choke down food. It stinks all my other babies I had cravings I ate alot,. My boys loved meat this one I can't hardly eat any red meat at all. This baby likes baked potato's other than that and fudge sickles that's it. I am now 19 1/2 weeks. When my nurse came out a few weeks ago when I was on my IV she asked if I was having a girl. I told her an early 13 week ultrasound showed that most likely yes but I wasn't going to get my hopes up yet since it was pretty early. She told me that she would bet I was because of all the problems I was having. She said it is common for people with girls to have more problems since not only is my body producing estrogen but so is hers. Once I think about it makes since. When I was on birth control the ones that had the higher estrogen in them I had a lot of problems on it. So it would make sense that if the baby is making some and I am making some it is going to be harder on me. Still didn't get my hopes up. When I went in two weeks ago for my ultrasound we found out for sure that we are having a baby girl. Ryan had been saying that all along but what are ya going to do he is 6. But he did tell me that I was pregnant before I knew so I should have listen to him all along.
Now before I got pregnant I would have a hard time sleeping. Cameron would come in our room in the middle of the night and I would have a really hard time going back to sleep. So I started taking melatonin to help me sleep. It worked great and it is suppose to be natural so that was even better. Well when I found out I was pregnant I found out you can't take it. So it was back to my Tylenol pm. I would be fine with taking one every other day or so trying to spread them out. However over the last couple of weeks not even two of those are working anymore. I usually get a couple of hours but then I am awake. Not awake enough that I want to get out of bed because I keep hoping that I am going to fall asleep. When I don't get enough sleep it isn't a good thing. Not just because I am grouchy not to say that I am not but I get sick. I get super bad headaches and nausea. Add the fact that I am like that a lot anyway cuz of being pregnant and it is soooo bad. I have really been getting mad trying to figure out why I am not sleeping. It's not because I am taking a nap during the day cuz I will get Cameron down but I can't fall asleep when he is so i just watch tv. Today it finally hit me as I was driving to work.
pounder. Add 104 temp and everything else going wrong in my body at that time and it sucked. Now I know what my friends meant by you may freak out on your next baby. For me it wasn't my next baby for me it when I found out I was having another baby girl. I have wanted a baby girl for FOREVER! But I am worried. That is why I am not sleeping. Even though I am not always consciously thinking about it I really think that is what it is. I think I have gotten about 6 hours of sleep in 3 days. I really didn't want to be this way and I have been keeping it inside because I think if I didn't talk about it that it would go away. I don't think it is going away I think it is getting worse. I finally talked to my Gma about it to day and she said that it makes a lot of sense.
I have been afraid to ask for a blessing and this is one of the hardest thing to admit. I got a blessing when I was pregnant with Emily. We went down to the shop I want to say about a month before we lost her and Blaine and his dad gave me a blessing. When Blaine's dad was giving me that blessing he said that everything with Emily would be okay. That she would be fine. I knew deep down what he meant. I never told anyone but I knew at that moment that I would not have that baby during this lifetime. I knew she would be fine as well but I also knew that I wouldn't get to bring her home and do all the fun stuff that you get to do with a baby girl. I knew deep down that I would not be making bows,dresses and all the girly girl things that you want to do. I didn't make anything no burp rags nothing. I had all the stuff to make it with but I didn't do it. A few weeks later everything happened.
With this baby I have had the desire to do those things but I am afraid to. I am afraid to ask for a blessing because I am afraid of what could be said. I feel dumb saying that but honestly that is how I feel. I went though a box of 0-3 month outfits my sister in law gave me tonight as well as a bunch of stuff that I bought even before Emily but cute little girl outfits. I wasn't sure how I felt when I went though them tonight. A big part of me wants and is excited but there is a small part of me that is afraid to let myself get to excited. As I get closer and closer to that 25 week and 5 day mark and yes I am still 5 weeks from that point but the more I can feel every muscle in my body get tighter and tighter. I should be happy I shouldn't feel so scared everything si going so much better right now. I haven't been bleeding in a while I am able to eat even though I may not want to but at lest I can do it. So why am I feeling this way. I am getting mad at myself I didn't want to admit it. And really didn't want to let my husband know about it. I have put him through so much when I was pregnant with Emily I don't want to relive any of that again. I don't ever want to put him in a situation where he has to choose who lives if either ever ever again. He has enough to deal with school and work.
My gma said that I need to talk to him about what I am feeling but also my doctor. My doctor has been great so far he has been ready to do whatever needed to be done. If my bleeding wouldn't of stopped when it did he was ready with med to try to make it stop. I haven't been to see him since I found out that we are having a girl but she said that it is important that I tell him all of this that I am feeling. I don't feel depressed persay but the anxiety now that I am admitting it is pretty high. That is why I am not sleeping. If I don't feel this baby move for a while those thoughts start creeping in. It is still early enough that I shouldn't feel her every time she moves like I will be in another few months. I don't freak out where anyone would know it but it is all in my head. I trust my doctor a lot. Not only as my doctor but as a priesthood holder. I have had other LDS doctors before but not the way I feel with this doctor. This doctor from day one has been keeping a very close eye on me and doing way more than the doctor I had with Emily. A lot of my friends have gone to the doctor I had with Emily and been fine. For me it didn't work out this doctor that I have now I feel fine with. I know he is going to do everything in his power to make sure things go good. He has told me if I need to put you in the hospital I will and I don't care what you think. So I think that if I do what gma says and tell him how I am feeling he will truly understand and not look at me like I am crazy. I am trying to stay positive and not let the negative thoughts come in my mind. So these are a few of the things that I have been thinking of lately. I thought that if I wrote it down it could make me feel better to get it out. We will see. So if you see me and I am not very talkative its cuz I am tired and can't make since of what is going on in my brain. I am not mad at you I don't have any energy and I could just be sleepwalking.

Wildlife World Zoo

2011-06-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

Right after school got out Rick and Ellen had to go and be a Ma and Pa for there stakes pioneer trek so they spent a few days over at Gary and Linda's house or since we are living here now as well our house.

Danny said that he wanted to take the girls to Wildlife World Zoo since he hasn't ever been there and neither had anyone else so we decided to go.
We left pretty early in the morning since it was a little ways away and it is June so it's not like it is cool outside. We got there about 10 minuets after the opened so we pretty much had the place to ourselves.

Dessie is such an animal person so of course she started trying to gather all the little ducks and peacock

Cameron loved that he was able to see all the animals.

These monkeys are the greatest things ever. They where very very loud and talked alot so all the kids thought it was great. This is a mommy with her baby and super cute.

This zoo is know for there white alligator

Like I said you get really close to the animals at this zoo. This panther was right above our heads this was all that was keeping us from him eating us.

This Rino was sooooo close to us. It was in it's house until we walked over and then he came out to see us. It was so close that you could touch it.

Cameron really liked the zebras and there was a nice baby one as well. The good thing about going in a lot of the babies are out of the nursery.

I was shocked when I saw Ryan touching the giraffe. That was HUGE I was so very proud of him.

By this time Cameron along with the rest of us where hot and tired. We went into the little snack area to get a snack and some water. Cameron was so hot and tired all he wanted to do was leave. Although the floor was dirty but it was cool.

Then it was time for the petting zoo. I wasn't sure how Ryan was going to handle this if at all and Cameron hasn't ever been to a petting zoo. I was very surprised to see that Ryan was okay and he was actually petting the animals and not freaking out.

Cameron loved the animals. It was so cute to see him and how sweet he was to all the animals.

I love this little face he had such a great time with the petting zoo

Ryan did really good with the animals

Ryan with Bambi

Ryry even touched a horseshoe crab was this my kid. I couldn't believe he was doing all of this.

In the gift shop they had these really cool fish tanks that you can go in the middle of.

All the kids all pooped out after a fun day at the zoo

Fun May Pictures

2011-05-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

I couldn't leave out some cute pictures from May. Not only did we have the end of school but we ended up moving over Memorial Day back in with Blaine's parents until he is done with school and we know where we end up.

We went to the cemetery to put in some little lights that the boys got for Emily's grave. Only one actually made it there in one piece but that is okay.

Cameron is always so sweet when we go to the cemetery

I love these two boys and miss my little girl so much

Cameron loves playing with his shot glasses. Yep we start our kids out young. Blaine collects shot glasses from places where we go.

For Ryan's birthday he decided that he wanted to go to Red Robin for dinner even though daddy couldn't come. I felt bad but Ryan was still happy and we told them it was his birthday but not to sing to him.

Poor Ryan had to get a few fillings at the dentist. We had to give him really gross medicine and then wait an hour for it to take affect before they would take him back. All the drugged kids had to put on these vest and stay sitting he was not happy about the meds or the orange vest. It was a little weired taking him back to the doctor and not seeing him again till he was done. While he was out they did a teeth cleaning as well. Granted it is not like some of my other friends who has given there kids to something serious like heart surgery it was fillings and a teeth cleaning but still I was very happy when I got to go back and see him.

Me and my little man just hanging out

Before dinner one day we couldn't find Cameron. We where yelling around the house for him we even looked outside. A few minuets later this is what we found in the kitchen.

The weekend we moved I found Ryan out in Paps truck with all the hats that he could find on. At least he was staying out of trouble even if I couldn't find him for a while.

I love this little cookie face kid.

Playing racing game with his brother. (or at least that is what he thinks)

Cameron hanging out with dad one night after dad got home from school

It's so fun that Cameron likes to take pictures and he has such a great smile

From Mrs. Kupfer

2011-05-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how much I am going to miss Mrs. Kupfer. Ryan loves her so much and did so good in her class this year. Mrs. Kupfer made a little book for all the kids in the class so they can remember Kindergarten. It had pictures from different activities from the year as well as some of the poems that they learned.

Ryan has the funniest smiles sometimes

Ryan with Mrs. Kupfer and Randy the Rectangle book. His class wrote this book for a district wide contest and they won 1st place. Ryan's page said that Randy Rectangle likes to play with Hot Wheels. I know big surprise right and he even drew the car on the page.

It is so fun to see stuff that they do at school

I am pretty sure these pictures are from Fitness Day that the entire school did

The picture I think they did at the beginning of school. The bus behind him gets all the pictures of the kids on bus.

Mrs. Kupfer's class was in the school talent show. Ryan didn't want to get up and do it that night with the class but he knew the poems just as good as the other kids. So he was a helper with Mrs. Kupfer. The pictures I took that night didn't turn out so I was super excited when this one was in his little book.

This was the awards night when the kids won 1st place for Randy Rectangle. These where the kids that where able to make it that night. Amber was the one that went up on the stage to get the ribbon but it was still really cool when they announced Mrs. Kupfers Kindergarten class. There was a lot of cheering.

Some of the kids from the field trip to the dino museum

Painting in class

Brianna, Ryan and Zachary with a super cute bunny. I was surprised that Ryan would get this close to it. He came so far this year with stuff he wouldn't normally do.

Look at how happy that little boy is yep the grouch is mine. He doesn't like the hat thing so not surprised that he isn't sporting his turkey however when I picked him up that afternoon he had it on.

More fitness day pictures looked that they had a lot of fun but I was sick that day so I wasn't able to go

The kindergartners get to dress up and do a costume parade for the school. Ryan isn't big on dressing up so he was an army man

What a great catch

This was Brianna's, Rachel, Ryan and Sophi's plant

I asked Ryan what was his favorite poem that he learned and he said that it was Breakfast. I want to put his favorites on here so he can remember them so here we go

Breakfast

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ,Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, all the kings horses and all the kinks men , had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

Toothpaste

There is toothpaste on my fingers, there is toothpaste on my nose, there is toothpaste on the mirror in a hundred squiggly rows.

Every time I squeeze the toothpaste, it sprays north and west and south. There is toothpaste almost everywhere except inside my mouth!

Higglety Pigglety

Higgley pigglety pop! The dog has eaten the mop; the pig's in a hurry, the cat's in a flurry, Higglety pigglety pop!

Lazy Jane

Lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy Jane, she wants a drunk of water so she waits and waits and waits and waits and waits for rain.

Keep a Poem in Your Pocket

Keep a poem in your pocket and a picture in your head and you'll never feel lonely at night when you're in bed. The little poem will sing to you the little picture bring to you a dozen dream to dance to you at night when you're in bed. So keep a picture in your pocket and a poem in your head and you'll never feel lonely at night when you're in bed.

This year was a great year for Ryan. It was his first year at a "normal" school in a "normal" classroom and I know it wasn't always easy but he did such a good job and so did his teacher. It was fun for me to help out a few days a week in the classroom and get to see how he does things at least for a little bit during the day. It was fun to see the other kids as well and they would yell hi Ryan's mom. I hope that next year is just a fun. I know we will both miss Mrs. Kupfer but don't worry she isn't rid of us forever. Thank goodness for swimming lessons during the summer and hopefully Cameron will be able to be in her class in a couple of year. Thank you again Mrs. Kupfer for all your hard work.

Last Day of School

2011-05-26T22:29:00.004-07:00

Ryan's last day of school this year was on the 26th of May. They had a nice party who are we kidding they had a party almost everyday last week. That kind of threw Ryan off because the routine wasn't the same but he did pretty good. I really wish that his teacher could just fallow him to 1st grade but I know that she can't. Mrs. Kupfer was the best teacher ever and Ryan gave her a run for her money sometimes. She really did everything that she could to help him to grow and understand things. She has hand picked his teacher for next year so that hopefully they will work well together. I hope that she is still around when Cameron is in kindergarten. Ryan will be doing swimming lessons again this year with her and I am praying that they go better this year cuz last year wasn't the greatest. I wasn't going to do swimming with him but they talked about it and he said that he wants to so for the month of June we will still get to see Mrs. Kupfer so we are still happy.

For the end of the year gift Mrs. Kupfer put together pictures of Ryan and some of the fun things they did at school along with the poems that they memorized so I will try to scan some of those pictures in the next few days after I get some stuff moved.

Thank you Mrs. Kupfer and Mrs. H for all the hard work that you did this year and making this year so successful for Ryan. I really have become great friends with Mrs. Kupfer I loved going in a few days a week to help her out with things in the classroom and coming to the party's and field trip.

Dino Muesum Field Trip

2011-05-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

I was able to go and help out on the Kindergarten field trip to the Southwest Museum or as the kids know it the dinosaur museum. Ryan was really excited because we got to go on a big school bus. He hasn't been on a bus in a year and when he did ride the bus to school it was the little bus so he was SUPER excited that he got to ride on the BIG bus.

Mom and Ryan ready to hit the road. He doesn't look excited at all does he

Waiting with my group for the waterfall. I was going to have a partner and another kid Ryan's friend Trevor however he threw up on the bus so it was just the 4 of us for a while until the nurse brought over another outfit for the poor kid. They did catch up to us towards the end though.

We got to touch and learn about dino teeth. Ryan was excited to hold a T-Rex tooth he has been into Dino Dan lately on NOGGIN so he knew what she was talking about.

How big is your foot?

In a hut

I really didn't think that Ryan would go for this but he went in the jail and even let me get a picture. He wouldn't let me close the door but hey I was happy with what I got. We didn't go for the gold cuz it was sooooo crowded cuz I think there was a couple of other school there at the same time.

Yep that is Ryan on TV. They have a green screen set up and all the kids love this.

My little scientist

Looking at x-rays he thought that was pretty cool

It was a fun day at the museum. Afterwards we went Pioneer park for lunch however we found out that they had irrigated so that wasn't an option so we headed to a park close to the school. The kids had a lot of fun but it was really hot but I guess the most important thing is that the kids had fun.

Ryan's 6th Birthday Party

2011-05-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

For Ryan's birthday he decided that he wanted to have a big party. He wanted a Peter Piper Pizza party but he wanted to invite a ton of friends as well. So we told him that he could have a pizza party but he would only be able to have a few friends and no presents from us, or we could do a party at the park and he could have as many friends as he wanted so he went for the park and a lot more friends. He invited about six kids from school. He wanted like all 27 kids from his class but I told him not that many. So three kids from his class showed up Aubry, Rachel, and Trevor, Hollie and her grand kids and not to mention his cousins and Andrew plus his aunts and uncles. We had a ton of pizza and Ryan made out like a bandit with the gifts. Ryan was so excited to get his new Wii game Sports Resort that he hasn't stopped playing yet.

Ryan was having a lot of fun showing off how he learned to swing all by himself

Ryan is a little obsessed with traffic signs. He decided this year that he wanted a stop sign cake so I googled it to see if anyone else had done one and came up with this. Ryan and Gma found the car candles and we used a couple of his wood signs and added it to his cake. I have to admit it is the best cake ever. He wanted chocolate so of course that is what Gma made him.

Ryan got all of his candles out on the first try.

Ryan got a lot of fun stuff for his birthday he has some great friends to come to the park in May when it is hot. We really made sure that we got out of the heat before 1:00 but don't get me wrong it was still hot outside.

More and more good stuff

My Baby turned 6

2011-05-17T12:42:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to my 1st born. My RyRy I can't believe that you are six years old already. You have taught me soooo much in your six years of life. You have come so far in your little life. You have really come a long way with your autism I am so proud of you. You still have your issues with being in front of people and having a hard time focusing. We are still working on it. You know so much that I don't know. You know how many canals we have to go over to get anywhere. You know all of your traffic signs and how to get anywhere on any freeway. You have such a cute personality you are starting to get a long better with your brother and you keep begging for a baby girl. You can be such a good helper when you want to. You remind me so much of your Uncle Ryan you do some of the same things and I know you would have loved your Uncle. Thank you for letting me be your mom. Happy Birthday baby boy.

Camping

2011-05-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

Baine had a day off of school for teacher in service so that worked out good to do a camping trip.

We had one planned for two weeks earlier but it was so windy and cold that we postponed it till it was nicer. We got a tent for Christmas that we haven't used yet. I like the heat that comes with sleeping in the trailer. I said that we would try it. The boys had there own air mattress and then we had our queen one. We set up the DVD player in between the boys so they could watch the movies. Everyone was happy till it started to get colder. It was a nicer weekend to go camping but still got down to the 30's that night. Cameron got soooooo cold he ended up in our bed then by morning Ry was freezing as well so we had all four of us on our queen air mattress ya that was fun. Ryan decided that he was going to sleep in the trailer the next night so he can be warm and I was okay with that.

Ryan has had a fishing pole since his first time we went camping. It came with a little plastic fish attached to the end of it so it looks like they caught a fish. He has been fine with that and throwing rocks until now. Blaine threw his line in and caught a fish on his 1st cast. Ryan thought that was so cool and that he wanted to catch a fish as well. I told him that he already had a fish on his pole. He said no he wanted a real one. Great time to get out the weapons. He was getting a real hook on the end of pole. We told him that he had to be very very careful because it is very sharp and can really hurt someone.

We got everyone out of the way and he did his first cast all on his own. At first we thought he got it stuck on a rock but as he kept trying to get it in we saw that he had a fish on the end of it. That kid got a fish on his first try. He thought that was the coolest thing ever and he was hooked.

Ryan thought that he was pretty hot stuff and he was a fishing fool. He started catching them right and left and was super excited.

Cameron kept himself plenty busy with throwing rocks into the water. He loved it and the nice thing was that he didn't fall in like his brother did at his age. However it made fishing next to him not very fun cuz he has a great arm so the fish didn't want to come around. The only good thing is that no one on this trip was skunked and that hasn't happened in a while.

Ryan just kept pulling in more and more fish. Blaine would cast his out and then Ry would get another one on so Blaine would have to hurry and pull his line in so that he could help Ryan with his fish. Ryan caught the most on this trip with a total of 15 fish.

This picture has a little story behind it. Blaine got a picture of Ryan when he was about the same age as Cameron while we where fishing at this same lake. This was at Bog Tank around this same time of day we wanted to get as close as we could to the same picture. Now I have to find it and then we can do a comparison picture.

Taken May 14th 2011

Funny thing is this is the same rock. This was taken Aug 18th 2007. Looking at these two pictures of my two boys at the same age really make me realize how huge Cameron is.

My two cute boys on the little bridge at Bog Tank

I wanted to try and get a picture of Blaine and I but as you can see it didn't turn out that great.

A nice dirty picture of Cameron and mommy

Ryan is being such a good big brother and explaining to Cameron about the fire and how to throw things into the fire. What a good big brother and yes both of my boys take after both of there parents and are piros.

Good News

2011-05-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my ultrasound. The lady that did it was really nice and said the Doctor has to tell you for sure after he has read it but I didn't see anything to worry about. So no Tumor is great news. So that means the 1st part of March I will start taking the progesterone to try and get my hormones back the way they are suppose to be. I still have to go get a blood test in a week but that isn't a big deal. I hope this will make me normal again within the next couple of months.

Just more questions

2011-05-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY went to the gynecologist everyone's favorite place to go. So we went through the fact that some months I have my friend come to visit and sometimes my friend is here for 30 plus days. Well he said that I am messed up. Thanks that makes me feel great. When I was on birth control I would come off like you are suppose to have my period and then would go back on birth control it would end and everything would be fine. Since I have been off of it for a year nothing has been normal. He told me that he doesn't think that I am ovulating he also thinks that the birth control was hiding another problem. He is sending my for an ultrasound because he felt a mass and he wants to rule out a tumor. He is sending me for a bunch of blood work but when it all comes down to it he thinks I have Polycysitic Ovarian Syndrome. He said that as long as the ultrasound comes back okay that he is going to start me on progesterone to try and kick start my hormones back into shape. We will see what that does. I did have a little bit of a freak out this morning since we don't know if the mass is a tumor or not I will feel better after Tuesday. I am trying to stay positive but it is hard sometimes. I guess the good thing is that we are in he process of trying to get things fixed. So that is what we know right now a lot of NOTHING.

So since I have posted this I have done some online reading and talking with my Gma. I am pretty sure that I have PCOS. It isn't uncommon for people to find out later especially when I have been on birth control for so long. The birth control has been hiding it. I was put on BC at 15 to help with cysts. I have been lucky to have the three pregnancies that I have had. I know people who have super bad cases of it and I have friends who have had kids while having PCOS. Found out some things that I need to change one being loose some weight and eat better. I feel a lot better after reading and knowing that is what I have. It describes everything that I am going though all of the symptoms match and everything that the Dr is doing will prove it.

Easter 2011

2011-04-30T08:17:00.001-07:00

Some cute pictures before we get into Easter pictures

Got to love this cute face Ryan is such a little cheese ball

Ryan looks more than thrilled that Cameron is giving him a hug Now onto Easter

The Easter bunny did come to out house. When I was little the Easter bunny would leave a trail from our beds around the house until we found our Easter basket. Well the bunny ran out of jelly beans this year so he left Easter eggs from the kids beds downstairs to the baskets. I was mid blink but Cameron is super cute

Cameron looking super cute with his new Easter outfit. It was a HUGE fight to get Ryan to put on his vest. Crying and a major fit of I don't want to happened before church. I told him he could take it off after we got home. By the time we got home from church he decided he liked it. Kid you drive me crazy sometimes. Trying to get a family picture is next to impossible. It didn't help that it was super sunny. I told them all I wanted to do is get a family picture then they could change. We will try and get a better one next year.

We set up our new tent Saturday afternoon to waterproof it. The boys are super excited for the next time we go camping. We where suppose to go the weekend after Easter but it was way to windy so we had to put it off for a few more weeks.

Before dinner we went out to see Gpa Bird at the nursing home. The boys took him a little candy and everyone was happy.

The yard is covered with eggs because we ran out of hiding places

Yep we will hide everywhere

Cameron figured out how it worked this year. He was happy to be getting eggs a little slow since every time he found one he would come and show me instead of putting it in his bucket and then going and getting more.

Ryan knows that the best place to start looking for eggs is in the cars.

Ryan knows the normal hiding spots so he is showing Andrew some of he secrets and sharing the loot.

Becky came out for a little of Easter egg fun it looks like she is plotting her attack for next years hunt.

So Many Feelings

2011-04-29T11:21:00.001-07:00

I have been putting off and putting off writing anything but sometimes when I put what I am feeling down on paper sometimes it is just the release that I need. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. Blaine started school a week ago. I have really been trying not to complaine. I had a lot of anxieties about him going back to school. I knew that he was suppose to go to school and I am so proud and happy that he is sacrificeing so much for our family but he is such a hands on dad. I didn't know how I was going to handle becoming a single parent. I try and look at what some of my friends are going though and have gone though and I think to myself at least he gets to come home at night and on the weekends. Some of my friends husbands have been or are currently in the military on the front lines, husbands going to medical school or are doing residency and they never get to see them. I have my kids to focus on even though they like to drive me crazy sometimes. I thought it was going to be really hard with Cameron. Cameron has always been a daddy's boy. Something happens he wants dad the only way he would go to sleep at night would be on daddy. He never wanted me so I didn't know how it was going to work. Cam also is a night owl like his dad he would go to bed around 11:00ish get up two or three times a night and then be up for the day at 7:00. I don't handle no sleep well it makes me sick after about a day of it.A week before Blaine started school Cameron had a change of heart. He started sleeping better and he wanted me. It was crazy he wouldn't go to sleep on Blaine he wanted me. It has been a pretty smooth transition with Blaine being gone. The night before he started school I told him that I wanted a blessing. We went over to his parents house so that his dad could help him. His dad thought it was kind of weird that I wanted a blessing but I had so much going on in life right then. Knowing that I was going to have to depend on others for help. That I won't get any breaks unless I am at work and that I won't be able to see my best friend all the time. He gets up at 4am goes to work till 1:30 drives to Avondale is in school till 8:45 and gets home between 9:30-9:45 eats I yell at him to take a shower and go to bed. He usually falls asleep between 10:45-11:30 and then gets up and starts it all over the next day all without complaining. On top of Blaine going back to school and all the stress that comes from that. We have applied for ACHCCS and still haven't heard anything and I have hospital bills coming in and wanting money. Cameron hasn't gotten his 2 year well visit cuz I can't afford it at the moment. I have had girl issues ever since my miscarriage last summer. Some moths my friend comes to visit I have gone two months with out it I have had it for 18 days so SICK of not knowing what is going on. Over the last year I have personally made pregnancy test stock go up all of my tests have come out negative of course otherwise I would be a lot happier. Ryan prays every night that we will have a baby girl. I don't know why but about two months ago he told me that we needed a baby girl and to go to the store and get one. I told him it didn't work like that so I told him to start asking Heavenly Father for it. I get so I don't know if the word is worried but is driving me crazy because every time we have wanted to get pregnant we do within a month or two. It has almost been a year since I miscarried and still nothing. I feel bad for feeling that way sometimes because I have friends who haven't been able to have any children and really have a hard time getting pregnant and every once in a while I wonder if something is wrong with me. I have had some abnormal PAP tests and they said the last colposcopy that I had they said it could be pre-cancer so that is part of the reason why I have been scared to go back in to see the doctor and then being poor and not having insurance has something to do with it as well. Yes before I get 50 billion comments about how I need to go see a dr I have an appointment next Friday I am praying that our insurance gets approved before that but not looking good on that front so I will have to pay out of pocket. I feel like sometimes I shouldn't want more kids I should be happy with the ones that I have when so many of my friends and some family can't . But it doesn't work like that. I feel without a shadow of a doubt that we still have little ones to come to our family. I want a girl more than anything I am so glad that we had our Emily and I know I will get to raise her later but how I long for a baby girl during this earthly life to raise. Blaine thinks our next baby will be a girl since that is what we had talked about when we got married we would have a boy girl boy girl. So far that is they way it has worked we had Ryan, Emily, and Cameron. Ryan really wants baby Gracie to come join our family. Yep our next girl will be Grace. I have had some people say we are crazy for not waiting until Blaine is done with school. Well to that I say I'm not pregnant yet so I guess its not something to worry about until we cross that road. I am not a pleasant pregnant person. I get really sick and have no energy. I hate being pregnant because I usually can't walk for about a month our two before because my back is so bad. I would rather just skip to delivery. I get my drugs and have a baby. We have talked about if our next one is a girl that would be it and we would be done. We will see what happens with that. I guess we will see what the doc has to say next week. It doesn't help the baby hungry part of me when I would say about 10 of my friends are prego or just had a baby. I know that my time will come I just have to be patient. What Blaine and I keep saying is if it is suppose to happen it will happen. That is what I have to keep telling myself.

Island Fest 2011

2011-04-22T10:06:00.001-07:00

This year was my first Island Fest. I have been helping with the PTO in setting stuff up and part of the finishing touches. I got to make sure that all of the booths had places for the tickets some of the cans I had to re-do but for the most part it was cleaning out bugs from the cans then taking them back to the school. The night of Island fest I had my Gma come help me because I don't have Blaine at night and I had to work at one of the booths for an hour. Each of the grades had a booth. The Kindergartners had a duck pond and you had to catch a little duck and then you got a prize. Ryan's class got to make part of the decorations so he was showing that off. They had 6 different bounce type things. Two smaller ones for little kids an huge double slide a Jurassic Climbing running thing an obstacle course race bouncer and this Spider man 40ft climb up and slide down thing from Hell. You can tell I don't like that one. I was working the novelty shop and Ryan really wanted to do the huge slide. I said that was fine Gma took him over there and stood in line with him for an hour not sure how Cameron let them but anyway. I get a call towards the end of my shift saying Ryan is stuck you need to come get him. So I run over to the spider man ride and Ryan is on like the 3rd level stuck and crying. The guy didn't even see him stuck so I went around and told him that I need to get up to my kid. Well I thought that would be no problem boy was I wrong. Now the side of it was this web thing that you had to get 40ft in the air then you could make it to the slide. You know the webbing that they have at McDonald's is tight and you can step on it and it's not problem. Not this one it was elastic and would spread apart make you do the splits. I get to Ryan and he has one of the straps wrapped around his arm and somehow he had his neck caught in it. I was ready to freak out but had to stay calm so that what little footing he had he didn't loose fall and really hang himself. I finally got him loose and said that we needed to go down but he kept crying saying that he wanted to keep going. Seriously I got some strength that I didn't know I had because it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Pushing him up and then trying to get my big self up there. We finally made it to the top and the slide was cool and fast BUT that was crazy hard. They really should of had an age limit or better supervising or something. I was so mad and still pretty upset about it. Ryan ended up having nightmares that night and was up a couple of times cuz he was stuck. Poor kid over all it was a good night and we had an awesome turn out. We have another PTO meeting coming up in a couple of weeks so I will defiantly be bringing this up because I know my kid is not the only one who got stuck in this particular ride. I helped clean up and we didn't get done till 10:30 good thing is we got passes to the Fire Hall of Fame that we won in the raffle that we will go do sometime this summer when it is super hot outside.

I HATE THIS THING it took me a week to be able to walk agian and I am still having problems with my back.

Happy Birthday Babe

2011-04-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

I know I am late yesterday was my hubbys 33 rd birthday. I told him to take the day off so we could do something fun. Thursday's a great becsue it is Grandma day for Ryan. She pickes him up from school and then they go to gymnastics. I knew I didn't have to worry about him now I just had Cameron. I asked my Gma if she could watch him for a while plus it gave her a reason not to spend all day at the nursing home well it gave an excuse to give Gpa whay Gma couldn't spend all day at the nursing home. Dropped Cameron off and went and saw the 1st movie of the day(cuz you get in for $5.50) we went and saw Limitless. It was better than I thought it was going to be. Then we went to Dave and Busters for lunch and games. Blaine's company have team building stuff sometimes and last year they had one at Dave and Busters. He has some points left so we went. We had the place pretty much to ourselves since it was a Thursday afternoon. The food was good and we had a lot of fun playing all the games. Would be a fun place to go for a date night with friends sometime. We went out and got Cameron and fallowed my Gma out to see Gpa. He is at a new place a nice one in fact so he was happy to See Cameron. Then we took Cam and went looking for a new TV stand. We re arranged our living room and the one that we have right now is to big. We went to every store we could think of. Our last stop was Ikea and we found something there that will work we will see. All in all it was a good day. The boys started by taking him his gift in bed. We got him a netbook thought it would be fun for him to have since he is going back to school. He seems to like it we will have some more celebration on Sunday when we do birthday dinner for both him and Audrey. So I just wanted to say Happy Birthday Babe thanks for spending the day with me. I am proud of you for going back to school even though it is going to be a hard 11 months. I know in the end it will be all worth it. Thank you for making such a huge sacrifice to help your family. I hope you know how proud we all are of you.

Big Boy Rides

2011-04-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

The first ride Ryan went on was the Jaguar I didn't get any pictures of that one because Cameron was board so we went and walked around for a while. The 2nd one Ryan went on was Monizoma's Revenge. I don't like that one at all I think I have only been on this one twice. Ryan thought it was fun but didn't expect the G force that came with it. Blaine said he looked over at him and his head was at his knees so he had to push him back up. The head in the knees gave him two little black eyes but he said it was fun.

I can't believe he wanted to sit in the front but he did

Ryan loved the swing. I think he did this one 3 or 4 times.

Can't get enough of this. Then they decided that they where going to go on th boomarang. I hate this ride more than anything in the world. Ryan thought it was cool.I can't believe that he had fun on this. The 1st and last time I rode this I got so so sick. Then the boys wanted to go on the Silver Bullet. They waited about 45 minuets for this ride and he had a lot of fun. I wasn't so sure about it since there really wasn't anything keeping him in it but he thought it was great.
He had such a great time and really wanted to go on all the rides the four that he couldn't go on I am sure he will be able to next year.

Knotts Berry Farm Part 1

2011-03-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

Friday night after we got back from the beach and dinner the boys just played around. They are starting to be good together FINALLY. Cameron was being a monster and getting Ryan. Saturday morning we got up and went to Knotts. We stayed at the Courtyard and it was right next door so we just walked to the park. Went and had breakfast before the park opened. Cameron had gotten up at 4:30 and didn't want to go back to sleep. We turned on his movie and just let him do what he wanted and Blaine and I got some more sleep we would wake up every once in a while when Cam would come over and talk to us but that was about it. Ryan was up by 6:30 ready to go ride the rides but we told him that it didn't open till 10 so watch TV so mom and dad could sleep more. Around 8:30 we headed to the park to eat breakfast at the chicken dinner restaurant. Cameron of course fell asleep on the way over and slept all though breakfast and that was really nice.

I realized after we got to breakfast that I forgot Cameron's froggie back at the hotel Blaine told me just to go to the Snoopy store and get him something there. If that didn't work we would walk back and go get him something. Cam woke up just as we finished eating perfect timing. I took him across the street to the snoopy store and he picked out one but then he found Snoopy's brother marbles so we ended up with both of them. He has two froggies as well so I guess he doesn't want them to be lonely. The nice thing is that it seemed to be working and he wasn't missing froggie. You don't understand this kid seems like he always has a frog in his mouth I can even understand froggie Cameron talk kind of scary.

So I was a sucker and went ahead and bought the pictures. It is really hard to get a family pictures and for the most part everyone was looking. I thought that I could use these as part of my Christmas cards this year somehow.

They had a package and I got another picture so I picked this one of the boys and Woodstock. I love Ryan's crazy smile. He couldn't figure out why they wanted him to hold out his hands but it turned out good.

Ryan on his 1st ride of the day Camp Snoopy airplane ride

At Camp Snoopy they did a spring break game you had to do four events and then you get a free camp snoopy water bottle. You had to run the bases, to a touchdown dance kick two soccer balls in the goal and then get two baskets in. Ryan didn't want to do the 1st to but like the soccer and basketball ones.

You think that is a big enough basketball hoop?

Cameron wanted to get into the action he hasn't figured out the kicking the soccer ball instead of throwing it. He did the basketball one to but since I was the one helping him I didn't get any pictures of it.

Cameron's 1st ride the school bus. He was very excited to see the school bus but not so sure about being on it. You can tell by the look on his face he isn't sure about this.

Grandma and Ryan drove the bus

Ryan wanted to go on the "Big Truck" ride. We looked at this online and he thought this would be great. To bad it didn't work the 1st time we wanted to go on it. Well really the girl who was running it couldn't figure out how to turn it on.

Blaine's dad took this one I have the pipe in my face but that's okay. Let me tell you the picture of the parents sitting in the top while the kids drove the parents mus have been skinny cuz that was a tight fit for these parents. The kids thought it was great that they got to drive mom and dad around.

This was the last Camp Snoopy ride. Snoopy bounce house and after this Ryan had it. He was ready to go on the big roller coasters. I wasn't sure how that was going to go we had checked to see what Ryan could ride before we left and he could do all but 3.

Cali 2011

2011-03-29T21:46:00.001-07:00

We decided that since Blaine is going back to school that we needed to do something as a family since it won't happen during the summer. We found a great price on tickets for Knotts Berry Farm and Spring Break was the best time to do it.

The first thing the boys found was the swimming pool. Thank goodness for gates.

We invited Blaine's parents and brother Danny to come along with us. Since the girls where on Spring Break as well Linda was able to take a break from the triplets and come along with us. We left on Friday morning and just played around the hotel and then decided to take the boys to the beach for the 1st time. It was cold and super super windy and I thought that they weren't going to have anything to do with the water but I was wrong. They had a blast Cameron wasn't so sure about it but Ryan asked for his swimming suit before we made it to the water. I told him he was crazy it was only 50 outside and the wind chill made it even colder. I told him we would have to come back in the summer time when it is warmer.

Ryan and Grandma as you can see Ryan can't get to the water fast enough.

One happy little boy

I love this picture Cameron wasn't so sure about this water

This is high tide and Ryan was getting a little to far out for comfort for this mom. Little back story when I was little my brother Ryan and I would go to the Oregon coast and we loved it. One day Ryan and I walked a little to far out okay a lot to far out. Ryan was only three I think I was like 5 and we got carried out by a wave we bother were under water and the only way my dad and Gpa got us was by the hood of our jackets. Ever since then I am not a big fan of going very far out in the water. So every once in a while I would scream at Ryan to come back in.

Daddy to the rescue

Danny found this stick and wrote Ryan's name in the sand. Then we gave the stick to Ryan so it looks like he did it. He can write his name but not this neat. I like it because there is a blog that you can write to this lady and she will write the name of a loved one who has died in the sand. So I get the best of both worlds I have my son Ryan and my brother Ryan.

Cameron wasn't sure about the soft sand he didn't mind the wet sand.

Ryan wanted to go and walk on the pier so we had to do that before we could go back to the hotel.

This pictured didn't turn out that great but it is the only one that everyone is looking at. Ryan really wanted to go to the end of the Pier but it was getting so windy so we talked him into just going halfway out.

Cameron wasn't so sure about being so high up. He liked the water but didn't want to get to close to the edge.

Ryan thought it was so cool to watch the waves and the surfers.

My Baby is 2

2011-03-27T21:40:00.001-07:00

Today is my little baby's 1st birthday. We had a nice big party yesterday at Grandma Matthews house. I wanted to do a Mickey Mouse birthday party but it didn't work out the way that I wanted. I have cut out a bunch of circles to make Mickey Mouse head invitations I made one but then lost the bag that had the rest of the pieces in it so I just called people to invite them. I will find them I am sure later. I got Mickey Mouse plates party favors and Linda made a great Mickey Mouse birthday cake. We invited a few people and when it was all said and done I think we had 10 kids plus the triplets. I think all the kids that jumped in the bounce house slept very good last night. We had yummy pizza from Sams club. Some of the fun stuff that Cameron got was a Mickey Mouse scooter from mom and dad so he can be just like his big brother. Even the babies got in on the action

beanbag chair ,movies, big ball and bubbles, cute new outfits, and Gma Matthews got him his very own stroller. Yep my son has a stroller that is the favorite thing at Gma's house all the kids love so Gma found the boyish one that she could it has blue and brown polka dots. All in all I think that he made out like bandit. Thank you for all coming and making his birthday so fun.

Daddy helping Cameron blow out his candles. What a big boy

Huddy even went in the bounce house he wasn't sure about it but he still did it as long as his mom was with him.
Cameron enjoying his pizza. Yep this is how he eats his pizza the top down. Everyone get daddy time Flying Ryan

Flying Cameron and the picture won't load right sorry.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy you are one funny kid. You love pepperonis and your baba's someday you will eat more but for now you are 35 pounds so I try not to worry. I hope you had a great day. Love you and can't imagine life without you.

Nursing Home

2011-03-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

I was able to take the boys to see Gpa today since he has moved to a rehab nursing home. They were happy to see him since it has been about 14 days since they saw him last. For Cameron that is a long time since I think he has been to his house at least once a week since he has been born. I was able to keep him awake to get this picture but on our walk back out to the truck he ended up falling asleep. Gpa is doing a little better. He is still having a hard time with a few things. Monday he stats intense therapy so we will see how that goes.

Gpa

2011-03-09T20:47:00.000-08:00

No this is not the update that I need to do and there won't be any pictures on this post but I guess I need to vent and since this is kind of a journal I should put everything down. Life has been super crazy the past 12 days or so. Back story Gma went to UT for Kenzie's wedding the last weekend of February. I stayed the night with Gpa so she could go and then she flew home Saturday morning. Normally this wouldn't be that big of a deal but Gpa got sick around midnight or so. It started out him throwing up every 10-15 minuets then the diarrhea started and that came more often. I don't know how he had anything left in him. Gma got home around 11 in the morning he started getting better by that afternoon. The next morning I found out that Gpa was taken to the hospital by ambulance at 4am. They finally decided that he had pneumonia and that they admitted him. Things just started to get bad the next day. Found out he had some sort of infection that he was put into isolation for some days have been better than others. Sunday Blaine and I went and saw him and he had had a lot of visitors and he was still doing better. Monday was a really bad day and I thought well this could be it. Time to move him to a hospice house. Then Tuesday he was doing a little better again. You see Gpa will be 84 in a few weeks and with the medical history that he has and all the problems and pain that he is in no one would blame him for giving up. Things are so bad one day and better the next it is so hard playing this "game" we know that we can't really decide when he will go we all know it will be sooner rather than later but we really wish something would happen already this back in forth is really taking it's toll on everyone but especially Gma. If the surgery for the pacemaker really happens tomorrow hopefully it will do what they all say it will. If it does he will move to a rehab house till he gets his strength back.

New Blog

2011-03-03T19:30:00.001-08:00

I have started a new blog to keep all of our family and friends updated on my Gpa's condition. Go to
http://www.bigbirdtimes.blogspot.com/
Thank you for everyone's love prayers and support during this hard crazy time of life.

Back to School

2011-03-01T11:16:00.000-08:00

I have been waiting to announce this until we had things more finalized no we are not pregnant yet Blaine is going back to school. We are so excited and scared at the same time. He will be going to UTI Universal Technical Institute in Avondale. No we are not moving he will be making that trek Monday- Friday for the next 45 weeks. He will be going into there Diesel & Industrial Technology Training Program. He starts school April 18th. We have been doing all the fun financial aid stuff trying to figure out what to do about work for the both of us then sick kids on to p of that things these last few months have been a little crazy that is why I am so behind on blogging. Good news is that Blaine talked to his current job and they are going to work with him so he will be able to keep his job. The school offers two times of school 6am in the morning or 2-8 at night. He will be going to work from 6-1:30 then go to school from 2-8 by the time he is done he will have his AA as well as the Diesel thing. Until he talked to his office we where trying to figure out how for me to go back to work full time with Ryan's therapy I can't just throw them in day care. I don't have anything against day care but having worked in day care for 5 1/2 years and knowing the behind the scenes things that happen I would like to avoid it if possible. I can't have my gparents watch them anymore since my gpa isn't as peppy as he use to be. Linda can't watch the boys because she has to be at Shelley's everyday helping with the triplets. For now we are still trying to figure stuff out so that is making my stress level rise more. My goal is to open a preschool out of our home but can't do that until we have a house. Thought about watching kids out of my house but not sure about that without a yard. The last time I watched kids we had a yard and I did a lot of stuff outside but our house is so small I am claustrophobic I don't think I could add a bunch of kids. So I am thinking that we are going to have to hold off on that one to. Sometimes being a grown up isn't all that fun.

I know that everything will work out in the end because it always seems to somehow it's just the not knowing thing and it is such a leap of Faith. We both know that this is the best thing for our family at this time it has room to grow and make more money to help our family move forward. I am so proud of my hubby for making this decision. It's going to be a crazy year but it will be worth it.

Parents come to visit

2011-02-08T14:22:00.000-08:00

My dad called me a few weeks ago to see if they could come and visit. Well actually he wanted me to ask his oldest grandson if they could come and spend a few days with him. Ryan was so excited we even had a count down on our calender at home that we looked at every day.

They flew into Gateway and the nice thing is you can see a lot of cool airplanes while you wait. Look it's Nana and Papa.
They can't get off that plane fast enough.
Yep that is my kid eating cookies on the floor waiting for Nana and Papa. Don't worry it was a clean cookie. Yay it's about time. Nana was excited to go and see the triplets. We went to Target and Nana got them all cute outfits, then we got to help with a feeding. Then she wanted a picture with all the babies we even got Luke to join in for a minuet.

Kind of a fuzzy picture so this one is a little better

You can see Jared's little milk face, Becky in the middle, and Mark passed out on the other end.

The day my parents left was the 26th they had to leave super early in the morning so we decided to go to the cemetery a day early. Emily's 3rd Birthday would have been on the 26th. We went to Hobby Lobby and each of the kids got to pick something cute out Cameron picked the blue butterfly Ryan picked out the windmill and flower and nana got the purple angel. Then we took it all out to her. It was nice to be able to go and do that together as a family.

We wanted to get a picture of the boys with Nana because we found a frame that said Nana on it for her birthday next month. Turned out super cute.

Can't forget Papa this was right before the kids went to bed. It was so nice to have both of my parents down. It's usually just my dad that gets to come down so the boys where super excited when Nana got to come to. Thanks so much for watching the boys over night for us so Blaine and I could have a little get away weekend. So it worked out well for everyone.

Happy Birthday My Angel Baby

2011-01-26T12:51:00.001-08:00

Today my little Emily would have been 3 years old. This year has been harder than other years I think because I have been under a lot of stress with things, not to mention the fact that I thought we would be having a baby soon if I wouldn't of had that miscarriage last summer. I figured that we would be pregnant again by now. Every time we have gone off birth control I was pregnant with in a month or so. I haven't been on birth control since my miscarriage and still not prego. I try and not let those negative thoughts that something is wrong with me creep in but sometimes they do. Blaine and I are both in the mind set of it will happen when it happens. I keep thinking with the changes that could be coming to our family that maybe it isn't the time to have a baby since I may have to go back to work full time. We went while Nana and Gpa where here to get some cute stuff for Emily's birthday to take out to the cemetery. Ryan picked out some cute metal flowers and windmills, super cute flowers and Nana even got a little angel for it. We went home and put everything together and took it out to the cemetery since my parents had to leave super early today. It is good to know that my little Brother is taking care of her and that I don't have to worry. I am so very greatful for the knowledge of eternal families and that I will be able to see my little one agian.

Emily's 4th Birthday

2011-01-26T12:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Little Bro

2011-01-22T21:48:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday Little Brother. Today would have been my brothers 26th birthday. This year has been a lot harder than other years for sure. I think it has to do with a lot of changes that our family could go through in the next little bit, (no still not prego) stress and really struggling with Emily's 3rd birthday coming up. Over the last 20 years that he has been gone.( wow 20 years already I can't believe it will be 20 years in March) anyway I have had a lot of amazing experience's with my little brother. I know he is looking out for me and I know when I am having a really rough day that he is always there helping me out. Sometimes I totally feel him next to me.

I know if my brother was here that he would most likely be a fireman be married with a little one being a great husband and father. I know right now he is being the best Uncle in the world to my little one. Sometimes I feel so alone like I am an only child even though I am not. Ryan and I had such a close relationship. He was someone that I could tell anything to and I knew that he would still love me no matter what. I have a lot of other siblings but I don't have as close of a relationship with them.

This year was a nice day because my parents flew into town. My dad and I haven't been together on my brothers birthday in years. Every year I call him and just say hi and that I am thinking of him and then that is all because neither on of us want to cry. This year I go to take my little boys to the airport to watch the plane land and then Nana and Gpa come to hang out with us. Nothing was said but nothing needed to be said. It's like my dad and I have this understanding really I think just so we don't start crying. It was so fun to see him with my boys playing and having fun. Normally we both just try and keep ourselves as busy as we can on hard days like this but this year my boys made him play so all in all it was a good day.

I could feel Ryan with us and everyone was happy.

I can't tell you how much I miss you, how much I wish you where here on earth with me so I could call you when I have a bad day, or our kids could play together, or you could give my hubby crap and watch football together. I know you are in the best place ever and I am happy that you don't have to deal with the crap of everyday life. But I still miss you.

Happy Birthday Little Brother

This is the last picture of Ryan before he died.

Christmas Morning

2011-01-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Christmas morning Ryan woke up and came to our bed like normal and asked if Santa had come. This is the first year that we have even talked about Santa. We have two fireplaces in our townhouse so he kept looking up to see how exactly that was going to work. I just told him that he just does. When he came in he asked if he could go down stairs. Cameron was still asleep so I wanted to give him a little more time plus my Gparents come over to watch the boys open there gifts and then I make breakfast so I told them to come at 7:30 and it was only 7am. I told him that he could go and see if there was anything there or not it was so funny to hear how excited he got when he saw everything that was down there.

I had Ryan call Gma and tell her that he was awake and to come over and thank goodness they were just getting into the car.

Ryan is super excited to open his gifts but Cameron still wasn't awake and then we heard this little one at the top of the stairs.

He didn't sleep all night in his Elmo jammies because he had a leaking problem. He wasn't very happy that I was flashing him with a camera at this point.

Cameron loved this microphone as you can see he didn't want to put it down.Wipeout for Wii everyone is excited.

Cameron's favorite gift of the day his Handy Manny Quad. He had a blast running into everyone and everything.

Ryan finally got his own DS. He has been playing the girls for about a year now and loves it. Now he has his very own and it's not pink so that makes him happy. Still hasn't figured out the games very well since he is use to playing the Wii but I am sure he will have mastered it in a few months.

Gma and Aunt Deanna looking at some of the loot that they got. Ryan had a blast with Aunt Deanna and was really sad when she had to go home.

Even Gpa Bird got up and made it out for Christmas morning. I think it is more for biscuits and gravy but whatever works right.

This little boy is sooooo excited for his new DS. It was good that Santa put that one towards the back of the tree so that it would be the last gift that he opened otherwise I think he would have opened this one and then the others wouldn't have mattered.

Cameron is so excited to play racing game (mario cart) He always wants to play even when Ryan is at school. He doesn't know how to yet but he sure pretends that he is driving when everyone else is. Can you tell that he loves pictures.

I don't have any pictures from Christmas at the Matthews because we all did gifts at the same time and with 18 or so people wanting gifts at the same time it can get a little crazy. I was handing out the gifts so I didn't get any pictures I will have to see if anyone else did and then I will add them later. Some of the very cool things that the boys got was car maps. Linda gets toy catalogs throughout the year and Ryan loves to look at them. On came a while back that had an airport car map as well as a normal one. So Ryan got the airport one and Cameron got the regular one. So one is upstairs in there room and the other smaller one is down in the playroom. Cameron got his own car garage thing, Ry also got some blocks that we haven't gotten out yet because I have hidden them until I can find a good way to store them but I know he will love them because I did when I was little. Blaine got a tent so I guess that means I will have to sleep in it when we go camping next. I also told Blaine that means he is going to Fathers and Sons since he has one now. HaHa. Over all it was a very good Christmas everyone was very generous and the nice thing is there was no fighting and everyone was happy.

We did end up going out to the cemetery to take some pretty Christmas flowers to Emily. The nice thing is that Ryan and Grandma got her a little dog just after Thanksgiving and the really nice thing is the dog was still there.

The very interesting thing is every time that we go to the cemetery Cameron just goes and sits down like this every time and will just sit there for a while. There seems to be a connection between them and I am sure there is but it is so cute because he just sits there.

Christmas Eve

2011-01-01T17:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve I did our traditional Christmas Eve PJ's opening. Cameron picked out the PJ's but he had no clue so it worked.

We found some Mario PJ's since he loves to play Mario Cart so much. He liked them until I told him that he had to put them on. He had a little meltdown but after a while he decided that he liked them.

Cameron getting his Elmo PJ's

He really didn't care that much about the PJ's he wanted to go and play Wii again.

Then I think it was around midnight when Santa came to our house.

Christmas 2010 Part 1

2010-12-30T16:24:00.001-08:00

So much for getting my 2010 blogging done before the new year. I was a little late on getting Christmas up at our house this year. Most likely because I was sick and really didn't feel like doing anything. I usually start getting stuff out the day after Thanksgiving but I guess I had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Finally about two weeks before Christmas Ryan kept asking us to get a tree and it didn't help that we saw a tree lot on every other corner but one Tuesday night we gave in and went looking for a tree. Since there isn't a lot of room in our townhouse we knew we where going to have to get a smaller one than last year. We went to the tree lot that Ryan made us go to in the Safeway parking lot and they were too spendy so we went to Moon Valley Nursery that we got a great tree at last year and found another one. I think that is our 1st stop next year.

Our tree sat naked for a few days because it was late by the time we got home and he had to get to bed since he had school the next day but he was okay with that since we had a tree. (don't mind Ryan's Michael Jackson move here sorry)

I was getting stuff finished up downstairs and I came up to find this. Ryan is reading Brown Bear that is Cameron's favorite book ever. It is so good to see that they get along sometimes.

He got sick of Ryan reading so he got his own book. If he is up in his room and you don't hear anything you know that he is reading something. What a good little boy. The next Saturday we finally got the tree decorated.

Cameron didn't want to get left out so he decided to say cheese as well.

This is the our very favorite ornament. This ornament has been on the Christmas Tree at my grandparents house for as long as I can remember. It came out in 1985 and that was the year that my Brother Ryan was born. It has a train that goes around and lights up. It has been everyone's favorite. The first year I was married my Gparents gave it to me. It works off and on but every year it works for a little bit. I will be so sad if it ever really stops working. It has now turned into my Ryan's favorite thing he wants to find it first.

This is my other favorite ornament. Every year I make ornaments for my gparents and parents usually it is a picture of the boys and they put it on there tree. The year we lost Emily I took the footprints they gave me and now this is her ornament. Now Ryan wants all his favorite ornaments next to each other kind of cute.

Chuck E Cheese

2010-12-30T15:47:00.001-08:00

On the 18th we where invited to Andrew's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. We had taken Ryan there before but it had been a couple of years and Ryan really wasn't into it. This time there was no problem at all.

He had a blast even though it was super super crowded note to self don't go there on a Saturday.

Ryan loves anything with cars so he loved the driving game

Now this was huge Ryan got into one of these cars you put the money in and it drives. Well anytime before Ryan would totally freak out but he did awesome.
We didn't get to stay much longer because it was our wards Christmas dinner that Blaine was in charge of and we had to go and set up but we had a lot of fun and the nice thing is Cameron stayed at Gma Matthews asleep so that we only had to deal with keeping track of one kid in the craziness.

Trains And Some Other Fun Stuff

2010-12-30T13:36:00.002-08:00

We went to see the trains again this year. We went last year and Ryan loved it. We went the 1st weekend he was opened. Ashley was going to bring her kids and go with us her hubby was out of town so I told her to come with us so we could help her with her three kids since that is not a place you want to take a stroller.

I got home from work and everyone said that they where ready to go about a half an hour before I told Ashley so I kept calling her to tell her that the plans had changed but couldn't get a hold of her. We headed to leave and I saw her pull in her driveway. She said that she still needed to go to another store so I stole two of her kids threw them in our truck and that was it.

Kayli, Ryan and Lily looking at the trains

Cameron is excited to see the trains. The funny thing is whenever he wanted Blaine to go a certain direction he would turn his head by pulling his hair. I thought it was funny Blaine on the other hand didn't.

Waiting for the train to come around

The train is coming the train is coming

My kid is such a cheese ball

This train was huge

Lily use to be afraid of Blaine but now she totally loves him.

During Christmas vacation I got to watch my best friend Ashley's kids while she went to a meeting. I kind of claim them as my other kids so it was fun to have them come over Ryan was so excited that Kaylee was going to get to come and play for a while.

Cody had a blast outside on our little swing and slide thing while the other kids where inside playing the Wii

All of the chickens eating chicken nuggets

Triplets

2010-12-30T13:36:00.001-08:00

Shelley had her Triplets on December 13th after being on bed rest in the hospital for two weeks. She fell chasing after Luke in a parking lot and went to the hospital to be monitored and they decided that she needed to stay until she had the babies. Her original due date was going tobe the 20th of December but they had to move it up and she made it to the 13th making her 34 weeks pregnant and term for triplets is 32 so everyone was very happy.

Shelley right before they took her back.

These are the 1st pictures that we all got they where taken on cell phones so that is why they are a little blurry

Baby Mark was born 1st and he is also the smallest

Mark Alan Fletcher

Born: 1:47 PM

Weight: 3 lbs 7 oz

Length: 16.7 inches

Becky was the biggest and is the middle child

Rebecca Fletcher

Born: 1:48 PM

Weight: 5 lbs 2.5 oz

Length: 16.7 inches

Jared is the youngest

Jared Alan Fletcher

Born: 1:50 PM

Weight: 4 lbs 15 oz

Length: 18.5 inches

All the babies did really well and Becky and Jared where off there CPAPS three days after they where born and Mark wasn't that far behind. Becky and Jared where moved to a different part of the NICU a couple of days after that and Mark was a day behind.

I am putting this next part in as a journaling thing for me and I am not trying to sound self centered or making this about me but I need to put it in so I don't forget.

I was trying to prepare myself for when Shelley had her babies. Knowing that they where going to be at least a month early and knowing that they where going to be tiny I was struggling with. I thought that if I would have been pregnant by the time she had them that would give me something else to focus on. I would still be happy for her but I would have my own self to focus on and that I would be excited about having a baby of my own in a few months. Well after I had my miscarriage in July that dream was gone. I was tying to figure out in my head how and if I was going to go to the NICU and see the babies and how I would react. I don't think it is how I would react to Shelley's babies but how I would react to see the one and two pound babies that would be around hers. For some reason this year has been harder for me and missing my baby girl. I wasn't sure if I could handle going in and seeing those tiny babies thinking the what if's that sneak into your mind after something has happens.

I guess it is a good thing that I got sick so I didn't have to worry about it . I wasn't even sure if I would get to see them while they where still in the hospital. The day after Christmas a was better and I knew that everyone from Flagstaff was going to go to the hospital that afternoon and it was going to be crazy so I was going to leave my kids with Blaine's parents and go over that morning. The nice thing is that Blaine said that he wanted to go with me so we headed over before parent time started so we could see the babies.

The babies all had there own room at the hospital Becky and Jared had adjoining rooms since they where moved at the same time. And then Mark was at the other side at the end of the hall.

Since I am use to having huge babies they really looked tiny. I was almost afraid that I was going to break them.

Blaine holding Jared

Jared in his cute little Christmas outfit

Becky was sleeping so good after her hearing test and then mean old Aunt Tiffany wanted to hold her two. I think she wasn't very happy with me. I was even nice because we took these pictures with my touch so there was no flash. Then we went and saw Mark. He is so alert maybe its because he was in an isolate so there was no noise and then when he was out he was looking around for all the noises. Don't think there will be a problem with him passing his hearing test.

Now he was so tiny but he just snuggled right into you I even got to feed him. He had a time limit on his eating however if he didn't get his bottle down in an half hour they had to use the feeding tube because anything longer than a half hour he started to burn to many calories meaning that he would loose weight instead of gain.

I even made Blaine hold Mark just so he could see how much of a size difference there was between all of them

The good news is that Jared and Becky got to come home on the 28th and they are hoping that Mark is about a week behind them. He just needs to do better with his eating and get his feeding tube out then he can come home.

It was a really nice thing that Blaine and I where able to go and see them together because it got us talking about Emily. That is something that we don't do very often especially Blaine so it was nice that we where able to. It actually brought some more closure for me.

Thanksgiving 2010 Part 2

2010-12-30T13:33:00.000-08:00

Just kidding about having no pictures from Thanksgiving. I guess it would help to look in my camera every once in a while. Thanksgiving morning the "boys" Blaine, Nate, and Robert decided that they wanted to go and play racket ball at Mountain View. I told Blaine that we could stop and get Ryan' s bike and then he could ride around on the side walk while they played. He said that they would only play a couple of games so I didn't think that would take very long. I have only played Racket ball once while I was going to school at EA and I think it was a date or something so I don't know the rules or how long it takes. Ryan rode is bike for a while but then he just wanted to go in and play with the boys.

Uncle Nathan is going to teach Ryan how to play

The courts where pretty full guess a lot of people like to play before they go and eat themselves into oblivion and the court they had was super sunny so I kept my eye on the ones on the other side and as soon as one opened up they moved. Before they got game two going my little boys went in and pretended like they where playing and had a lot of fun.

Cameron wasn't about to be outdone

By this time I was board and didn't feel like standing for another half hour forty minuets so I told Ryan that we would go back to Gma Matthews house and that he could ride his bike there. It took some convincing but we left and let the "big boys" play one more game.

Some Fun Pics

2010-12-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

Some fun things happening around our house lately is that Ryan and Cameron are FINALLY starting to get along. Ryan is starting to think Cameron is okay and sometimes fun. Cameron still LOVES Ryan and wants to do everything that he is doing.

This is the boys at Gma Matthews house Cameron was sitting at the table with us until Ryan came in got his pizza and left. So Cameron did the same thing. He got his little table and had to sit just like his big brother.

The other day I was finally able to go and see Shelley at the hospital. Ryan went on Sunday with Linda and Gary but Blaine and I had a meeting so we didn't get go. Shelley fell a week ago and went to the hospital to get checked out and they didn't like her blood pressure and protein levels so they told her she had to stay until the babies come. They moved up her C-Section date from the 20th to the 13th. Yep the 13th that is Monday so the babies should e here Monday and two of them could be 5 pounds and the other 4 pounds. So she has lots of babies. I told her she should be glad she is on bed rest so she doesn't have to walk around. I want to die when I have one and I felt like they where going to fall out I can't even imagine with three of them. Can't wait to see the little ones. Ryan was super excited because Shelley turned on Nick Jr. for him so he was more interested in I think it was Diego.

Now this picture is the best. My little Cameron is in LOVE with doggies especially yellow Lab's. My parents have a yellow lab named Daisy who Cameron loves as you can tell by this doggie picture. Lst night when we went to pick up Ryan from Gma's she asked us if we wanted some flannel sheets so we said yep. The funny thing is that these sheets where Blaine's mission sheets. Cameron loved them and just played with the doggie. So I guess that I need to find some more doggie sheets for this little boy.

My Baby Got Burned

2010-12-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

I have heard that you should always wash your kids clothes before you let them ware them and this is why.

CHEMICAL BURN

I had gone to Khols that morning to finish up getting outfits for pictures later in the afternoon. I have gotten stuff for me and Ryan and hadn't ever really worried about washing them before wearing them. Didn't even think twice about just throwing them Cameron. This could be why he was so HORRIBLE during pictures. Came home and put them in the tub and found this. And these pictures don't do it justice. I took these and sent them to my parents and they said that it was a chemical burn. Never again will I not wash there stuff before I put it on them. I guess that it is common for manufactures to put chemicals in the jeans ect... to keep the colors better and what not but I felt so so so bad. After a bath Aquaphor and benadryl we where all better by the next day.

GO DEVILS

2010-12-10T08:32:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago Blaine was able to get some free tickets to the ASU game. We have been wanting to take the boys for a while but haven't gotten around to it. With free tickets how could we not go. So we invited Blaine's brother Nathan and his wife Jenny since they invited us the last time we went. The seats that they got where better than ours but hey they are still free tickets we took the Light Rail and that made Ryan super excited nice thing is the boys are still free to ride that so the most expensive part of the night was the dang food at the stadium. We where up pretty high and that worked out really well since the flight path for the airport was right above our heads. The planes where so close if felt like that you could just reach up and touch them. Cameron waved and said bye to every plane that went over our head. Ryan liked roaming around the bleachers and since there wasn't many people around us I just let him do it. We left right after halftime headed home to beat the crowed and that was just long enough for our first football game. The funny thing is that when we watch football at home Cameron really gets into it yelling at the TV like Dad and saying touchdown. Ryan can care less about football on TV but when we where at the game he was really getting into it. We will defiantly have to go back to a game next year.

I love these boys. Poor Ryan he has sores all over his mouth because he keeps licking his mouth. Cameron was freezing and ready to go home.

Family Pictures 2010

2010-11-27T20:31:00.001-08:00

Oh my goodness can I tell you how much I wish family pictures would work out for us. It use to be Ryan that would scream and not cooperate. Not anymore nope that one goes to Cameron. I decided to ask my Sister in law Jenny to try and take our pictures. She got a great camera and I thought that since my kids like her and love her that they would do good with her taking them. I also thought that it would be fun to do it at the MAC center. I have seen so many pictures that others have taken and have turned out so cute so I thought great idea some place different. It is a good idea as long as your kids are not obsessed with water. They have great places to take pictures with water but if your kids are like mine and love to throw rocks in the water and that is all they want to do they will want nothing to do with pictures.This picture doesn't show how bad it really was but I promise it was bad.
Even with Cameron being a stinker Jenny was able to get a super cute picture of Cameronnot sure why it is so small I will have to figure that out but you can tell it's still cute.
Same thing with my cute RyRy will work on getting it bigger.It's to bad that we all can't look at the camera at the same time. Although I think Jenny did some photoshoping on Cameron's head cuz I think he was still crying here.
This one has almost turned out Cameron wasn't going to sit here with us he wanted the water but she caught him before he took off.This one I think is the best because everyone is looking at the camera sort of.I really wanted to get a family picture on the stairs because I think they are cool but there where so many people taking pictures that day and the stairs are very popular by the time we where able to get to them Cameron was long past done. So here is a cute on of Ryan.
To everyone else who has this problem when you try and do family pictures you feel my pain.
Although when we started walking to the car and telling him to say bye to Jenny he was happy see

Turkey Day 2010

2010-11-27T20:14:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I figure before it is December I should post something about this Thanksgiving. Sorry no pictures I was to busy but it was a pretty good day. We had dinner at Blaine's parents when it was all said and done I think we had 27 people so you know not to many. We made food assignments the week before so we tried to make it so one person wasn't doing all the work. We had a roster turkey, pit turkey, ham, taters and gravy, fruit, veggies, stuffing, rolls, nachos, green beans with bacon, now on to pies. Pumpkin cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory (thank you Sams Club), a couple of chocolate pies, Apple 1 regular 1 sugar free, 1 Pecan, Danny even made a sugar free Pecan for Gary and he said that it was good (and people said that it couldn't be done), Cherry and of course pumpkin. I am getting hungry just typing all of this. So needles to say we had some major leftovers but that was good so everyone could take some home.
I had Blaine go and get our own paper so I could have hard copy of the ads I had been looking at them online for about a month before. Yep I did some Black Friday shopping but didn't do to much because I didn't sleep the night before at all. That is a different story that will come later.
At 10:45 we headed to Walmart because there was some stuff that went on sale at midnight that I wanted. We went to the one on Greenfield and Mckellips and I stood in front of the Wii game case till Midnight. I have done Black Friday before but I usually go to Fys Electronics and I thought that place was bad. Walmart gives a new meaning to CRAZY Black Friday shoppers. I got the couple things that went out at midnight but I wasn't going to stand in line till 5 am for the the DS that Ryan wanted. It wasn't worth saving the 30 or 40 dollars that is costs. I was out of Walmart and back to my in laws house by 12:19. Yep we spent the night at my in-laws we put the kids to bed then headed out it was so nice. We got some sleep and woke up at 6:30 and headed to Sams Club. Go what I needed there then Gary called to say that he was at Walmart on Country Club and they had the DS still. So we headed over there and they still had a dozen or so of the DS for $89.00. I am so glad that I didn't stand in line for 5 hours at the other Walmart. After Walmart I headed to the craziness of Khols. The line to check out snaked around the store and it was an hour long wait when we got in it so I put my hubby in line and I went and shopped. Nothing like being a procrastinator I had to do this because we where doing family pictures later in the afternoon and I didn't really have anything for outfits figured out so thanks honey for holding stuff and standing in line for me. All in all I have about 90% of my Christmas shopping done I am so happy about that.

Grant Wedding

2010-11-14T20:34:00.001-08:00

This last weekend my brother got married. I know my family gets a little or a lot confusing because I have so much of them. Long story short I met my Grant family when I was fifteen years old when I moved here to live with my grandparents. I went to a charter school where I met Mike. We started talking on an in school chat and he invited me over to his house his mom came out running with her arms out stretched and I have to admit and I do this even though I know she reads this blog sometimes and I know I have told her this before but she scared me half to death. I was a little okay a lot on the quite side at this point and this was not normal for me to have someone just come up and hug me. I guess you could say that Mike and I where like boyfriend girlfriend as much as two sheltered 15 year olds could be. I went over that day and I really have never left. They have taken me into the family like I was one of there own. during that time of my life I really didn't feel like I had much of a family and they just took me in. Don't get me wrong I love my grandparents and they have done so much for me but this was like an extension of family for me. I started calling them mom and dad and they just said that I was another one of there kids. They have done so much for me and given me experiences that I never would have had if I hadn't met them. Mike and I went though a phase where we didn't get a long for a while but we eventually got over that and he became my brother. I am so proud of Mike and the things he has overcome and accomplished in his life. He is a firefighter for the city of Maricopa and now has married a girl that is so perfect for him. Nancy is the best and comes from and awesome family from what little I have been around them they are great.

out Sisters I love this girl more than I can put into words. Growing up I have always wanted a sister and when I moved here to Arizona I got one. She is the best sister anyone could ask for and she has taught me so much. We may not be related by blood but I love her just the same. Thanks Summie for always being there for me.

Nancy and her mom just finishing up getting ready.
Nancy with her parents getting ready to walk down the isle. I got to tell her when it was time to walk down the isle I was so happy that I could be able to help that way. Nancy looks so gorges in her dress. Mike didn't see her dress until she walked down the isle it was so nice and romantic.

The ceremony was so nice

I have to say this is one of my favorite pictures of the day. Ryan just went and sat on Gpas lap. Yep Gpa was able to make it to the wedding so we where all excited.

It's official they are now husband and wife

You can see that the cake was beautiful. My mother in law makes the best cakes in the world. Nancy wanted the entire cake real but we didn't realize how heavy that would make the cake. Total this cake weighed about 150 pounds at least. Also you can see it is in front of a window then the DJ set up lights right next to it plus it was next to a door that was opened a lot. So needless to say that it started to get warm. Anyone who works with cake knows you need to keep the cake as cool as possible otherwise it starts to sweat and looses its stability. Keep in mind this is a six layer cake. Notice it was super super cute.

Had to get a cute picture of the cake topper that they had made. The mariachi band that was playing came out to find me to tell me the cake was falling. Yep the cake that was standing up and down was now leaning so bad that this cute cake topper fell off and I had to come up with a way to make sure it didn't end up on the floor. I am so happy that my mother in law has told me how to take a cake apart and watching her set them up before helped as well. I had my Gma and a lady who worked at the reception hall helping me dis mantel the cake. Yep you heard me right I took the top three layers off the cake then had to make it look somewhat presentable. So I took the cascading flowers off the other layers and covered the new top layer with flowers.

This is a really bad picture of what it turned out like I promise it looked better in person.

Now on to some super cute pictures. I asked Ryan to take some pictures and he didn't fight me and that is huge in itself especially since I said I wanted to take some of him and his brother. (plus froggie he is a member of the family two. We did leave his twin at home though so only one froggie made it to the wedding.)

I love these boys

Our attempt at a family picture. We will have to try for a better one in a few weeks but at least at this one there are no bruises on there face.

They had a really cool room for the kids with HUGE bean bag chairs a ping pong table and TV for the kids. Mike and Nancy even thought about drinks and snacks for the kids what a great idea and the kids loved it and the parents loved it because we didn't have to worry about where our kids are.

This is my adorable nephew Hudson

Huddy and I hanging out while they are taking wedding party pictures. I promise he is happy. I told him to say cheese and he is tyring to say something.

Mike and Nancy with Mom and Dad

It's a good ting Jen doesn't read my blog I don't think she would appreciate this picture. The only thing I can say is I didn't take it this was all Ryan's doing.

More to come but need to go to bed for now

Time to Update

2010-11-14T20:11:00.000-08:00

I have been so overwhelmed with life these days I have let this blog as well as other things that I need to be doing.Things seem to be going like crazy. I have been working more but life keeps going on. The nice thing is that Ryan and Cameron are starting to get along better.

I found this a while ago when things got really quite downstairs. Ryan loves the quilt blocks on my bed because they work well as an intersection for his cars. Now he is even starting to draw intersections on paper and using his cars on it.

To another child who got quite so I went hunting for child number 2. I also found him upstairs but her was reading a book. He did this for about a half an hour it was great.

Proof that the boys are getting along better they decided that they where going to watch TV together and kick mom and dad out of there bed. They look pretty comfortable to me.

My little ham

My other ham

Trunk or Treat

2010-11-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

This year our ward had it's normal Trunk or Treat the only difference is that Blaine was in charge of it in a round about way. Blaine and his buddy Tim have been called as Activities Committee co-chairs for our ward. Our ward hasn't been known in the past for having the greatest activities so we are trying to change that. We also have a wide range of ages in our ward. For the past few years for the trunk or treat we have had a chili cook off but it has been outside and it was dark and you really didn't get to see anyone because it was a mad house with kids trunk or treating. This year we decided to do things a little different. It was just our ward and we did the Chili cook off with cornbread and homemade root beer in side two hours early so around 6:00 so some of the older members of the ward could come and then they wouldn't have to do the trunk or treat. We where just counting on about 150 people. Well it was a little better than that we had about 275-300 people. We have four booths set up for the kids to do like a fishing one from the bishopric, a cupcake walk, and a bean bag toss then a place set up for the kids to make sucker ghosts. All of it worked except the bean bag toss. We had so many people that they started sitting on the floor to eat and so one of our games ended up being blocked. But still it was a great time. Blaine had to work that Saturday since it was a clipper weekend so I was running around like a crazy person. Thank goodness my mother in law took the boys we used most of her decorations and cleaned out her kitchen of utensils used her expertise in making root beer like they did at girls camp so there is no way that it would have been such a success without her. This year I even made Blaine dress up we have been married for 6 1/2 years and he and I have never dressed up. I think the last time I dressed up was in college so it was kind of fun.

Ryan was an Army Man

Cameron was a Fireman

Blaine was a Jailbird

and mom was a ballerina I made a tutu for myself like the ones we make at work. The problem is that Blaine forgot to focus the camera and it was like 11:30 at night and I was pooped but at least you can kind of get the picture.

The reason why I said that we where in charge because Blaine's co-chair had hunts for three weeks in a row so Tim wasn't really around until that day. It all came together and everyone said that they had a great time so that is all that really counted. Next activity our Christmas dinner that we haven't done in a long time so that should be nice.

Halloween Party

2010-11-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

Ryan had a Halloween party at school the Friday before Halloween. The kindergartners are allowed to ware there costumes and then they do a parade for the school. Then they change back into there normal outfits. Of course Ryan didn't want to dress up as usual so I god him BDU's so he could be an army man he of course called his pants "camping pants" and then I got him and Army shirt for the surplus store and he was happy.

He didn't handle the big group of kids in different outfits and I told his teacher that he didn't handle Halloween very good so she said that she would hold his hand and that he would just stand right by her. That made him happy and he did really good.

Cameron had fun in the stroller watching all the classes walk by.

I get to help out two mornings a week in Ryan's classroom I do the Homework folders I was able to help out for the afternoon Halloween party they got a lot of good loot the even better thing is Ryan didn't freak out with having me in the classroom. That has been a big issue the past few years and this year he is okay with it.

These are all the kids at Ryan's table getting there picture taken with Mr.Bones

2010-11-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we went to Flagstaff for Kenny's baptism. This was a really important event not only for Kenny but for Ryan as well. He has seen two of his other cousins get baptised but they where girls. Ryan really looks up to Kenny so we needed Ryan to see his boy cousin get baptised so he will know what to do in a couple of years. We left early Saturday morning since his baptism was at 10. Ryan got to ride up with Grandma and Papa in Grandmas car and then Cameron got to ride with mom and dad.
Found out that Cameron still gets super car sick. He threw up three times on our way thank goodness I wasn't alone this time so I had help cleaning him up. I was even more grateful that I didn't put him in his church outfit he had a couple others we got there about a half an hour before it started so we ran to my sister in laws house and threw the car seat cover in the laundry along with all the yucky outfits and did a bad thing of not putting Cameron in his car seat on the way to the stake center. Thank goodness it wasn't that far away. There where 10 kids getting baptised that day so it took a little while but everyone was being good.

Afterwards we went back to Kenny's house for lunch and let the kids run around and play again.

Ryan was really bummed that we had to come home but I had to be back at church the next day so we promised him that we would go back up soon to spend the night.

Papa passed out after the long day. You can see that his kids love to do things to him while he is asleep. So the tie flip and the can of Pepsi how long will it take before he wakes up from everyone laughing at him.

So far behind

2010-10-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

I am Sooooooooooooo far behind in my blogging it's not even funny. Life has been SUPER BUSY I am going to try and do a recap but I am sure I will forget things and put them out of order but it is better that they be documented right? Ryan had October Break last week I don't know who it is a break for cuz it totally messed ups his schedule and made things really bad for when he went back to school this week but we will get to that in a minuet. Report of Ryan for the 1st grading period has gone pretty good. I had parent teacher conference this week and found out that he is doing better than even his teacher thought that he would. We still have a few things that we need to work on but we will get there. He still will not stand for the pledge or the moment of silence he knows it because they did it at EMECEC I think the difference is that they did it just in there class room now they do it over an intercom and so it is loud and we all know how much Ryan doesn't like loud noises. One of the big things that we where all worried about this year would be that Ryan had a hard time sticking up for himself. Well not so much any more. Really that is the opposite he is a little to aggressive now so we are having to work on that. As well as some potty issues we will just say daddy needs to teach him how to use an urinal without taking his pants off all the way. Oh the joys of being a parent. Ryan for the most part likes school and is starting to get a lot of friends. Back to October break that weekend all the boys where suppose to go camping. Ryan had been looking forward to it for a while asking and counting down the weeks then the days until he got to go. Tuesday he got really sick and Ryan NEVER gets sick but when he does get sick he is super sick. I took him to the Dr on Wednesday because he was just not Ryan lye around and do nothing. Come to find out he had an upper respiratory infection and that it was super contagious and it could take10 day for him to get completely over it and back to himself again.The really nice thing is was that he lost his voice for 3 days. I am sure you can see where this is going yep no camping for Ryan. I knew his little heart would have been broken so we took the calender down and just didn't talk about it praying he wouldn't figure it out. That Saturday Daddy and the boys hung out since I was helping throw a baby shower for my sister in law Shelley who is having triplets so she needed one. Sunday comes around and Blaine and I both had to be at Ward Council so we took the boys to Gma Matthews we did our meeting then Choir practice went back to the house to get the boys ready to go and Ryan was looking sicker than ever. Since the choir was singing that day Linda stayed home with the boys until Blaine was done singing with the choir then he went back withe the boys so she could come and teach her primary class. Come to find out as soon as we walked out the door Ryan started throwing up. I got a text half way through Relief Society that Ryan threw up again I didn't know that he threw up once so I decided to head back over to the house to see what was going on. Ryan ended up sleeping most of the rest of the day. When Gary got home from camping remember we never told him where Papa was only that he was out of town. Ryan was halfway conscious on the couch and Gary came in with his pillow he just broke down because he knew where Papa had been. I have never seen him so sad. He ended up staying home from school on Monday but went the rest of the week. I was early release all week because of parent teacher conferences it made life a little crazy. If this wasn't enough the week before this Cameron had tonsillitis so that was not fun and then I got sick so it was not a happy time in the Matthews house. Now that the weather is cooling down it makes life better and nicer for all of us but not for Cameron. The breathing machine is coming out again and the allergy meds are back in full force. I have been working more Blaine has been working more as well so we don't do much around here. Good news is that we are all on the mend and looking forward to the holidays I think.

Now for some fun pictures.

My Cameron is getting so dang big and cute he tried on Mommy's hat.I love love love this picture my boys don't get along very often and this day Ryan was saying he wanted to hold Cameron's hand we where going to load up and take Ryan to school and I look back and this is what I saw.

Cameron has recently started to climb on everything thing it is great. NOT!!!

Ryan has been watching a lot of Handy Manny lately and so he decided that the washer was broken so he took his screw driver and fixed it for me. What a good little man.Cameron has found the real use for straws he has been starting to eat a little more real food instead of just bottle to so we are liking that more.

Cameron's started to get out of bed one morning and I guess he was quite ready to wake up because I walked into his room and found this.

Ryan loves to walk home from school to Gmas house he and his best friend Aaron. It is do cute to see them together.

One of these things doesn't belong?????????

Cameron loves to watch Ryan play racing game (Mario cart) on the wii. He gets his own steering wheel and pretends like he is driving. He didn't want to take a nap he wanted me to play since Ryan was at school so we did for a while then he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore but notice that he still has his racing game.

How young is to young for slave labor. I had to work Saturday and I asked that the boys take all the rocks out of the planter bed because I want to plant some flowers. I get this text and they did it all the rocks are gone just a little more work to do then off to planting.

I have more to blog about but this is enough for tonight. More to come is Kenny gets baptised Shelley's baby shower plus more.

Giveaway Wednesday

2010-10-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

I love love love all of there stuff. I got a pillow case for Cameron and since then he has been sleeping. Now I just need to get the rest of us some check it out.
GIVEAWAY WEDNESDAY

Pueblo Sept 2010

2010-09-04T17:38:00.001-07:00

Back a few months ago when went to Gpas family reunion people started talking about doing another Bird Family reunion. We had one a couple of years ago in Flagstaff so the talk was that we should have one at my dad's house since they have over 65 acres. The Next day when we got home this idea of having this thing next summer turned into Labor Day weekend. Holy cow after some rush planning we figured out a way to make it work. Of course it falls over Clipper week so that made our life a little more crazy but what was decided was my grandparents and I where going to leave on the 1st and drive to Albuquerque I would drive my car with my two kids and they would drive there car. We would get to my dads in Pueblo on Thursday the 2nd and everyone else would show up on Friday late night. We did it that way so it would be better on Gpa and that he would had a day to recover after we got there. The trip started out very interesting since we didn't even get to the Roosevelt lake turn off and Cameron threw up all over the back seat. No more bottle for him on windy roads. After 10 hours we finally made it to my parents house.

We brought the Wii so that Ryan would have something to do so here he is playing baseball with his Uncle Dan. Swing batter batter swing. FYI Ryan won.

Cameron loves that they have the same rocking chair that we do at home.

Some of the boys watching Ryan play bowling.

Rich and Wendy and there kids where suppose to get here late Friday night but they got such a late start that they had to stop about 4 hours out so they could get some sleep. After they got here we all went to a great Mexican restaurant to get sloppers.Slopper: Open face hamburger with french fries cheese and green chili. Only in Pueblo

This I guess was the kids table or I guess the 18 and under table.

This was the big kids table I guess.
Cameron hasn't been sleeping very good the past few weekend. His naps have only been about 20 minuets here and there so he fell asleep as soon as we got into the car so this was about another 20 minuet nap. Yep I am sunburned we are up higher so I walk outside and burn.

Some Fun Pictures

2010-08-22T15:33:00.001-07:00

I was organizing my pictures today and found some cute ones that I have to get up on the blog.

I found this one on my Gparents camera this was all the way back in December last year when Cameron was getting breathing treatments. I can't believe how much he has grown this past year.

I love this picture of Cameron someday I will learn how to use my photoshop so that I can make it cuter.

Cameron loves his daddy.

In June my brother in law Nathan graduated from Med school so his wife had a pool party at her parents house and we all go to go swim then kids had a blast and the decorations where the best.

Blame it on all of my family being in the medical field but I thought it was great

They said that the container was full of yellow lemonade but everyone I asked to drink it no one would.

It may look like Ryan is jumping in the pool however he is just jumping onto a step but he was excited.

Cameron just chillin in his floating froggie. He went all over the pool in that thing.

Ryan showing off

Don't worry these started out steal and those are tootsie rolls not what you think it is. Great party favors.
Cameron has learned to say cheese.
This is the way Ryan wanted to be all summer long just in his undies. As you can see he is also trying to get away from his little brother.

Cameron loves to watch Ryan play bowling he gets his own controller and pretends that he is playing just like his brother.

What I should be doing

2010-08-12T12:17:00.001-07:00

What I should be doing but am not is cleaning my house. Cameron is asleep and Ryan is at school the house is quite right now and it is nice but a little weird. Yesterday when I took Ryan to school I left Cameron here with Blaine I guess Cameron got really mad because he wanted to come to. I got home and Cameron was in a shirt, diaper and his flip flops. My kids hate staying home all day. Cameron is being a little funny with Ryan being gone all day. Granted this is only the 2nd day but I thought Cameron would be going around the house playing with everything that his brother yells at him for but he just stays close to me or goes to the door and says bye bye. Instead he just brings me the Wii controllers because he loves to watch Ryan play racing game or sports. So Cameron wants me to play so he can watch but it's just really something that I don't want to do. It will be interesting to see how he does as we get into this routine of Ryan being gone all day. In the next few weeks I think Cameron is going to start a baby gymnastics class at the same place where Ryan takes gymnastics. Cameron loves to play on all the fun stuff so we will see how that that goes.
I guess I should start doing what I am suppose to be doing and that is cleaning this very messy playroom.

Kindergarten

2010-08-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

Today was my baby boy's first day of Kindergarten. I did good since this really isn't his first time going to school. I was his first time in a "normal" classroom. He has been in school since he was 2 years old and nine months going to EMECEC.Ryan getting ready to go to school

I took him to the place in front of C1 where his class was sitting. It was SUPER crowded with all the kids and the parents so he was having a little bit of a hard time with all the people. He didn't want me to leave his side or even move. No name tag for him, but Mrs. Kupfer said they all knew who he was so it was okay. I told her I thought he would be better in about an hour after everything had calmed down. The next thing I know she said let me take him inside and show him around. So the three of us went in and she showed him what to do and his chair. As soon as we got inside the tears stopped and he was fine. He is sitting next to a little girl he knows from church so that was good and then Mrs Kupfer showed him his special spot. Back story on that remember earlier this summer Ryan did swimming lessons with Mrs. Kupfer at her house so they could get to know each other a little better. At the end of July was girls camp. My mother in law has gone for the past 11 years as a cook the good thing about this is that Mrs. Kupfer is the Camp director. I really don't know how she does everything anyway that week at camp Mrs. Kupfer was able to talk to Lynda about Ryan and what to do if.... Ryan's big thing is that he gets overly stimulated wither it be just to many kids or being pointed out to do something or or or. So she asked what we did when this happens so she told her you just have to let him go to a quite spot and let him decompress if not what has happened in his other classes is he will quietly fall to the floor curl up in a ball and just quietly cry a lot of times you don't even know that he is doing it till you are looking around the room for the tallest kid in the class and can't find him. So Mrs. Kupfuer said she would make a special spot for Ryan behind her desk where he can go for a quite spot.

So that is Ryan's special spot she told him that if it gets to crazy that he could come and sit back here on this cool blanket and chill out for a while. He thought that was cool so I thought this was going to be a good time to make my exit since he was happy. So I gave him a kiss and he said by mom.

Today wasn't only the first day of school but it was no bus and early release. I guess the world didn't end since I never got a phone call. I went to go and pick him up this afternoon and she said that he did great. He got a little gun shy a couple of times during class and kind of freaked out at lunch. He hasn't ever eaten lunch at school before and he showed him the cafeteria on meet the teacher night and it was crazy then and from what I gathered it was a little crazy today at lunch she said that he did good though and he told me that he got to go on the playground 2 times today he was so excited. I asked him if he wanted to come back tomorrow and he said yes so I guess that it a good thing.

Out of the Mouth of a 5 year old

2010-08-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

Last night Ryan and I where lying in my bed and I told him that it was time to say prayers. Our night time routine isn't what I would like it to be yet but we are slowly getting there. Now that Cameron is out of the crib he goes to bed first so Ryan stays in my bed until Cameron is asleep then Blaine moves him into his top bunk. Back to the story, Ryan prayers are either really super fast or he doesn't want to say his prayers at all so it is a fight. Last night was interesting, he started his normal Heavenly Father thank for this day, please bless us that we will sleep good, bless Mommy Daddy and Cameron( the Cameron part is new) that we will be safe...(now for the funny part) Oh God the Eternal Father we ask thee that we all sleep good and that Jesus Christ and God and the Holy Ghost will sleep good. I had to hide my face so Ryan wouldn't see me laughing. I told him that he did a really good job and he said mommy I said it like they do at church. I said yep you did a good job. He was so proud of himself it was so dang funny. How cute it is I guess that I guess things that they hear and learn at church really does set in.

Pueblo Day 1 & 2

2010-07-29T15:53:00.001-07:00

Ya I know it is the end of July and I am just finally getting around to posting again. Life has been very busy and I hope to get caught up here in the near future. 1st up we had to wait until Ryan finished swimming lessons before we could go anywhere so the 3rd week of June we took 4 days and went to my parents house in Pueblo Colorado. Ryan was so excited to go we had a countdown going on our calender so he knew how long it was before we went. The boys did really pretty good for such a long car ride. We tried to stop at the major city's to let them get out and run around.

All I have to say is thank goodness for DVD players. I don't know what we ever did without them. We borrowed my sister in laws DVD players so they each had there own screens and that made them both very happy.

He looks so peacefully when he is asleep. You may not be able to tell but all three of his frogs are with him two on his lap and one by the door. Funny thing is he wouldn't sleep without all three of them.
One of the days that we where in town we decided to go to the Pueblo Zoo. It's nothing like our zoo and way cheaper but it gave us something to do and it was Cameron's first trip to the zoo. Notice that he does have froggie. (story to fallow)Cameron LOVED the Otters. He was able to get in really close and they where swimming like crazy cuz it was so hot (86 degrees hot)
Ryan even liked the Otters I couldn't believe it. Ryan isn't what you call an animal person baby person or anything like that. So it was fun to see him actually looking at the animals. This was the only animal he cared about except the penguins.

Taking the boys in the rainforest room there where birds everywhere. Ryan didn't really care about anyhing here.
Cameron is happy to finally get out of his stroller. He liked the LionThis was about the time the world almost ended. We put Cameron back in the stroller and I asked Blaine where Cameron's froggie was? I couldn't remember if we really brought him in with us or not. He assured me that we did but he was nowhere to be found. Uh Oh is right granted we had the twin to froggie back at the house. (back story when Cameron decided that he loved froggie I got ebay to see if I could find another one since Baba gave it to Ryan when he was a baby. I found one and ordered it since he chews froggie to death I wanted to have another was as a standby froggie however he has become part of the froggie possie.) So back to the zoo we started backtracking as fast a possible. I was hoping that someone else didn't find froggie and decided that they liked him. We came to a fork in the road and Ryan and I went one way and Blaine and Cameron went the other. Ryan and I where running around the zoo trying to find froggie. I was starting to give up Ryan and I headed over to the Zebra one of the first places we went to and I almost didn't walk all the way back to the place that we where standing at but I decided to send Ryan back there behind the tree where we were standing. The next thing hear is Mommy Mommy I found it. I saw Ryan bend over to pick up froggie I was so happy I almost cried.

The world wouldn't end at least not today. Ryan was so proud of himself for finding Cameron's froggie. Those boys don't get along very often but it is super cute when they do. I called Blaine to tell him that we had found froggie. They had gone out to the truck just to make sure that we didn't loose him out there.

Look at how happy he is to be giving froggie back to his brother.

Pueblo & Colorado Springs

2010-07-29T15:49:00.002-07:00

Colorado Springs have some interesting art

While we where visiting we where able to spend part of the day in Colorado Springs. My parents had to go to the courthouse for some issues noting bad so don't worry but lets just say they became the victims of Criagslist. Of course my dad and husband didn't think about taking there knifes out of there pockets and keep them in the truck so Blaine Cameron and I sat outside while my parents and Ryan went and did stuff inside. Luckily it was a nice day. The other good part of this little trip into Springs was that the main drag was closed because it was the Fireman Chili Cookoff. Needless to say Trish and I where enjoying ourselves. We didn't get to stay for the cookoff because it started pouring rain and Cam wasn't going for that. Before all of that happened we got some cute pics of Cameron while we where waiting for them to come out of the courthouse. (Question for all of you who are good with cameras why do you get the line like this and how do you prevent it. Help please)

My cute little boy

Now for some other cute pictures from the trip.

This is the newest animal at my parents house. Cute little kitty that Ryan believe it or not loved chasing after. Cameron on the other hand not so much. But I was siting and watching TV and I heard this squeaking and saw this little grey thing on the floor. At first I didn't know what it was then I got up and looked and found this.

No I didn't put it in the cookie container. Blaine did that but yes it is a baby mouse so baby that the eyes weren't opened yet. So as you can see the cat is doing her job whatever. I kept my eye on it till Trish came home and then she took care of it by putting it outside by the snake hole. I guess they had caught a mouse the week before so I think that one and this on may have been related. Unfortunately this mouse has gone home to its maker. No the snake didn't eat it worse my brother got a hold of it. The snake would have been better. Anyway enough of mice and snakes.

This little boy swore that he wasn't tired. About two minuets later this is what I found. I think the big boy is tired to.

This was a little freaky. I went on afternoon to go and check on Cameron and saw this. Yes he is in the crib but he is sitting up. I haven't ever scene anything like it.

This is so funny. He was like this till he woke up. So funny Cameron

Pueblo Streetrod Show

2010-07-29T15:49:00.001-07:00

One of the days that we where in Colorado we saw that they where having the National Streetrod Show in Pueblo at the State Fair Grounds. It was a nice hot day but we saw the grey clouds so we where hoping it was going to rain or cool down but it didn't happen.

There where over 2,000 cars there some for sale some that where just really cool. This was one of the more interesting ones. Don't worry it was a fake body.

This was one of my favorites the picture doesn't do it justice. Blaine of course had to point this one out so this one is for you babe.
Ryan loved all the ones with the trailers. There where about 10 or so that had trailers Ryan loved it because he loves trailers.As you can see it was a little warm outside. Poor little man was a little hot but he did sleep for about a half hour so be grateful for small favors right.

This was one of my dads favorites this little rat rod. It was super cool I really like that hat on the engine.

Ryan loved this one because it was green I have to agree it is a pretty cool car.

My dad and Ryan checking out this very cool firetruck the funny thing is that this is from Tombstone Arizona.

Look this one is for sale....

Yep I saved the best for last. This Mercedes was unbelievable I am drooling just looking at it. This was a fun day but I got burned pretty bad.

Camping May 2010

2010-07-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

I know I should be backing and stuff but I am at my in laws doing laundry so I thought I would try and do some much needed updating. We usually go camping the weekend before Memorial Day so it isn't so crowded. This year was nice but SOOOOO WINDY! It was horribly windy so needless to say I didn't get a lot of fishing in. Papa had some leftover carpet and decided to carpet the trailer. It is great Cameron loved crawling around in the trailer.

Ryan's favorite place to be in the trailer. He has a pretty sweet set up with the bottom bunk and his DVD player.

This would be my little man pouting because he wants to go fishing and I told him he had to wait until after breakfast. I know I am such a mean mommy.

Cameron waiting in Papa's truck for some breakfast. All the kids love playing in Papa's truck.

For Ryan's birthday he got a big boy fishing pole for his birthday from his Papa Matthews. So we tied on his little plastic fish and let him practicing casting.

When we do go fishing we like to put the non walking kids into the back of trucks so we can keep track of them while we fish. Even though it was super windy we did make it down to Horseshoe lake to try it for a while. Unfortunately Blaine and I both had bumps but we got skunked this trip.He is being happy even though we are getting windblown. Nope no fish yet When all else fails and you don't catch fish then throw rocks. Could of been the reason why we weren't catching any fish.

After going fishing Cameron and I decided it was time to go back to camp and take a nap. It didn't take Cameron very long to crash. So I turned on a movie and didn't make it through the first 10 minuets.
Out like a light Cameron and Mommy just waking up from our nap. It's blurry cuz I took it with my phone. Cam showing off the twins. These froggies don't leave home without us. You can see the 3rd one in the background. This frog was originally Ryan's that Baba gave him but Ryan was never really into stuffed animals. Cameron on the other hand won't put it down. I looked for another one on ebay and bought one so I didn't just have one froggie. He loves his froggies.I love that Ryan plays with the same trucks that his daddy did when he was little. Wait can you see Ryan in his camping shirt?

Moving Agian

2010-06-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

Yep you read right we are in the process of moving AGAIN. Can I tell you how much I hate moving especially when it is 111 outside. We are going to be legal in the ward again since we have been living outside of the ward boundaries for the past year now. We are renting a 3 bedroom town house from a family in our ward. We are super excited to have three bedrooms. Two upstairs and one down. For now the downstairs bedroom will be used as a play/computer room. And the boys will be sharing the room upstairs until we need it for a baby. NO THAT IS NOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!! I am just saying when we need it the boys will move downstairs. We are hoping that is still a couple years away. We are hoping to have everything out of our old place on Saturday or at least most of it. A couple of Blaine's brothers are coming to help. This move has been more frustrating to me than any other for some reason. I think it is because most things I am not boxing up. The laundry is staying in the laundry baskets. The toys for the most part are staying in the tubs that they are already in. So I really am not in that bad of shape but some of the laundry has to stay so we have stuff to get dressed with in the morning and toys for the kids to play with. I have a class tomorrow night so I think I will move some of that stuff down the street tomorrow and then get ready for work. Ya that is the other thing we are moving less than a mile down the road. So that is super nice. Ryan is super excited because he asked me to move the TV and his bed yesterday but I told him that was going to have to wait until Saturday. I will be so happy when everything is out of our old place and into our new one. We have to turn in our keys here on Thursday the 9th but I have to get it cleaned first. I know I will get it all done but my back is KILLING me and it is so HOT it is hard to find the ambition to get everything done.

Fathers Day

2010-06-20T11:34:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to say Happy Fathers day to the most amazing men in my life.
First My dad has been the most amazing example to me in my life. Things haven't always been easy and we have been though A Lot of trials that most people only have nightmares about but we have gotten though them and become closer because of them. I love you dad more than I can ever put into words. Thank you for all the support that you have given me throughout my life. Your grandsons adore you and can't wait to see you. You are the best and I don't know what I would do without you. I am so excited to see you in a couple of days.

Second my Gpa Bird. I have lived with my grandparents off and on my entire life. They have been such a HUGE support to me. No matter what I do they are always there. I remember Gpa trying to teach Ryan and I everything there was to learn on the farm. Ryan and my Gpa didn't get along all of the time they both have pretty hard heads and of course they are never wrong but Ryan loved his Gpa and his pleasantly plump belly. I am so happy that they moved back down here to the valley. I am super lucky that my kids have gotten to know him. They love going to Gpas house. Cameron loves playing with his wheelchair and taking Gpas shoes off. I am happy that I get to spend on day a week taking care of and spending time with him.
Third my Dad Grant. When I moved down to AZ when I was 15 it brought with it a lot of fun experiences. I started a new life and got to know my Grant family. They are just as much family as any other member of my blood related family. They took me under there wing and helped me do things that I never would have been able to do. Dad is the most amazing person ever he knows how to do everything. It's crazy he is one of those men who can have a Q-tip and duck tape in the middle of nowhere and build a shopping mall. I really think that he can do it. He can fix your house do anything with your computer and then after that make your veil for your wedding. He never gets mad and is always willing to bend over backwards to do anything for you. Thanks dad for always being there and adopting me of sorts into your family. You are a great example for my boys.

Forth my Father in Law. He is the best Papa he has taught my boys a love for the outdoors. It's good that he started with his own son and now between the two of them they have been showing the boys especially Ryan how fun it is to go camping and fishing. Ryan will now only ride in Papa's truck when we go camping. They love to go to Papa's shop and get drinks and eat lunch. Papa makes them feel like they are one of the boys. A few years ago Papa gave us a little bit of a heart attach by having his own heart attach but pulled though like superman. He is very supportive and is always there to help no matter if it is to come and unclog the potty at 11:30 at night when daddy was out of town. Papa came and saved the day. Thank you for raising such a wonderful amazing son and father for my kids. He takes a lot after you I am pretty sure.

And fifth I saved this one for last because he isn't my father but he is the most amazing father to our children. My husband is I can't even find the right words. He is patient, loving, fun and so other many things that I can't think of right now. Our boys adore there dad. Cameron is always looking for him. Ryan loves to hang out with him and learn and wants to do everything that his dad does. He has been placed with decisions that you wouldn't want your worst enemy to have to make when I was sick. I can't tell you how strong he was for me when I was so sick and we lost our little Emily. I know that she loves her daddy to. It is funny because she has her daddy's chin. Blaine has a cleft in his chin and Emily had the same thing. I am sure she would have been a little daddy's girl to. Thank you hon for being such a amazing father to our children I hope that you know how much they and I love you.

Ryan's 5th Birthday Party

2010-05-28T14:19:00.001-07:00

Some fun pictures from Ryan's bowling party

We just had a small party with a couple of Ryan's friends and of course his cousins . The nice thing is the bowling ally did all the work. We had pizza, drinks and I got little bowling pin water bottles for the party favors. It was the most relaxing birthday party ever. The funny thing about our kids party is there are more adults than kids. I guess that is what happens when you have a big family. I think now as Ryan starts going to regular school that will change and we will have more kids.

Ryan telling everyone how to bowl

Ryan got some great gifts. Some games new scriptures, fishing pole, sleeping bag, and of course cars. Then Sunday when we had his cake he got his new bike. I think it will be a party that he always remembers.

My Baby is 5

2010-05-17T20:45:00.003-07:00

Today my little Ryan is 5. I can't believe it he is a real kid now in a few months he will be going to a normal school going to a normal Kindergarten class. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Ryan has mad such huge changes in his life in the last 5 years. Ryan has turned out to be such a polite happy boy. It's crazy I don't know where he got it from but he always wants to open doors for people says thank you for everything and is just an all around good kid. It is hard to think of where my life would be without him. I am so glad that he came into my life. He is named after my little brother Ryan who died when he was six. It is very interesting to see how much the two of them are alike. I think they had a little powwow in heaven before my Ryan came down and his Uncle Ryan taught him all the tricks.

For Ryan's birthday I wanted to do something super fun so I asked Ryan what he wanted to do and he said bowling. That is what we did we had a bowling party. Granted we had more adults than kids there but it was still fun. I will post some pics of that soon but I didn't want this day to go by without writing a little something to my little one. Happy Birthday little man you are going to be 5 every time you ask me for the next year. It will be so fun to see the new things that you figure out this next year of your life. Happy Birthday I love You.

Mothers Day

2010-05-17T20:45:00.001-07:00

Mothers Day wasn't so fun for me this year. I was SICK! We have 9 am church and I made it though Sacrament meeting but then I had to get home. Ryan went home with Linda so he didn't care but I was sick. I guess the nice thing is that I took a 3 hour nap but it was because I had to. The nice thing was the day before we where able to go out to Maricopa to my Grant family party. Now I know this part gets confusing for some of you so ask me about it later.( keep in mind I have a lot of parents.) My Grant mom and dad bought a house in Maricopa a while ago to live closer to my sister and her family and brother and his family that live out there. Plus they got a smokin deal on a fabulous house. I being the bad daughter hadn't made the trek out there to see it yet. So we had a combined Mother's Day and Mom's birthday party at there new house. It was a lot of fun and lots of yummy food. The kids had fun running up and down the stairs and playing in the hot tub. Yes it was 90 something outside and the kids where in the hot tub but don't worry it wasn't hot they didn't have the heat on. The boys had a blast I didn't get pictures taken but I did get this one of all the boy grand kids that where in town playing. It was a water party and they all slept good that night. Mom also had everyone right something cute about there mom or wife and people had to guess who they where. Ryan's was that he liked going to target with me and getting cars. Cameron told me to STOP putting bows in his hair I AM NOT A GIRL!!! and Blaine to the story of when I first came to meet the family and I flushed my cell phone down the potty. (thanks for bring that back up hun) it was so fun to hear of everyone's stories. So I must say that was the highlight to my mothers day weekend.

Water Day

2010-05-17T20:44:00.001-07:00

This year was the first year I was able to make it out to Ryan's school for WATER DAY. This first year I was prego and didn't want to go out in the sun. The next year I was working, One year I think I forgot no wait I had a newborn so I was determined to go this year. A couple days before water day we headed for Old Navy so Ry could pick out some new swimming stuff. A couple pairs of shorts and a swimming shirt so I didn't have to worry about sun screen at school. That afternoon while we where waiting for the bus I had a horrible migraine starting.

This is Ryan and is friend Ashton

I told Ryan that I might not be able to come to his school today for water day. Then the guilt trip started. "but mom you have to come to my school to take pictures of me." So I said we will see. The bus got there and and as he was walking on to the bus he said "okay mom see you soon to take pictures." Well I had to go. I loaded up on Excedrin and headed off to the school with Cameron in hand. We got there a little after 2:00 and got to see him running around like a crazy man. Ryan running through the sprinklers
After a while it seemed like things where getting crowded so his teacher went and got a hose and put it on the the little playground so just his class could play.

This is Ryan and his teacher Ms. Mary

Luckily there was shade so I could stand under it. Oh ya back story: the day before we had been at the Gila Valley Temple open house and even though we where only outside for a max of 15min I got FRIED.

Ryan and his friend Vance have been in the same class since the beginning.

The sun and I don't get along very well. So I was pretty sunburned and that was the cause of my migraine. When I get sunburned I get sick like sick sick in bed sick so I really try to stay out of the sun.

Vance getting Ryan

Blaine didn't want me to go to water day because he thought I would get more burnt and get really really sick. So that is why I was happy to find shade. Ms Mary and Ryan spraying the water
Cameron did pretty good. He was starting to get hot and jealous that he couldn't go and run in the water. They had snow cones for all the kids for snack. It was starting be the time to get ready to go home so I just took Ryan home with me so he didn't have to ride the bus for 45 minuets. His school is right behind Red Mountain High school but he has a 45 minuet ride each way.
I have to say all in all I am glad that I toughed it out and went because he was so excited to see us there and show off his water day.

Gila Valley Temple

2010-05-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine on Facebook took this picture and I stole it off her page. I just thought that it was such a good picture.

Wednesday May 5th Blaine took the day off and we went with my grandparents up to Thatcher to see the Gila Valley Temple. We left the valley around 9:00 and our tickets where for 1:00ish. Surprisingly enough the boys did pretty good. Ryan loved going through the tunnel and going on the big bridge. He watched a couple of movies and was fine. Cameron did good only got mad once on the way up. Good news since we are going to dive to Colorado next month it gives up hope. Traffic was a little crazy but we got there around 12:30 and went to the chapel next door to see the movie that they have for you to watch before you went through the Temple. I went to the Snowflake Temple open house and stood in line FOREVER the ticket thing sounded dumb at first but it was very nice being able just to walk right in watch the presentation go through the temple and be done a lot sooner. My grandparents also went and brought a long a friend from there ward. Before you go into the temple they but little booties over your shoes to keep the carpet clean. I new Ryan wasn't going to go for that and as soon as he realized what everyone was in line for the freak out started. The little old lady put the shoes on my feet and next to her was an open chair so I sat Ryan down and pulled out a clean pair of socks from the diaper bag. I told the lady that they are clean and that he won't put the booties on he is Autistic and just to leave him alone. She did no problem no questions asked. It took Ryan a couple of minuets to calm down but he did. Cameron did pretty good until we got to the baptismal font. First Ryan thought that it was cool to see the big cows (I told them they where oxen) he said it was very pretty. Cameron wanted so bad to get in the water. Cameron loooooves the bathtub so he thought he had hit the jackpot with finding a huge bathtub he was wanting down and letting everyone in the room know it. Our Eternal Family (it was a little bright outside)

My gpa was in his electric wheelchair and did pretty good. There are some tight corners to maneuver around so that made life interesting. All in all it was a good trip and the boys did really good. I am so glad that Blaine was able to go with us not only because I don't think I could have handled both kids on my own but even though it wasn't a dedicated temple yet there is something special being in a temple with you entire family. That won't happen again for our family for a while or at least we go to another open house.My Grandparents

My Grandparents and there friend from the ward Pat
Ryan is such a good helper pushing gpa along

After the open house we went to a very yummy Mexican restaurant called Casa Manana. I wish they had one down here. I went to EA after I got out of high school. Man a lot has changed up there in the past 10 years go figure. The boys did really good waiting for our food. We had a little bit of a wait because they where so packed.
I think we went though 6 or seven bowls of chips but everyone stayed happy.Cameron playing patty cake with gma Bird.

Some fun cute pics

2010-05-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

I am waiting for Cameron to wake up so I can go and tackle the pile of non fitting clothes in there closet. I figure while I am waiting I would post some cute pics from the past month or so.This is Ryan chillin after school. Since it has started to warm up he gets pretty pooped after school. He is defiantly turning into a big kid.Isn't that cute Ryan just lying around on his daddy. I would be careful Ry that could be a dangerous spot .We can't leave out Mr. Cameron he is pretending that he is eating. He only ate his puffy things though.Seems like most of the pics I have of Cameron is him eating. Oh well he's so dang cute most of the time.Ryan had water day at school a few weeks ago. (will post pics of that later) that morning I got him ready for school in his swimming suite. He kept asking me for an ice cream sandwich I said it was only 9:30 and you haven't eaten anything yet. So he asked for a corn dog. After he was done with that he said okay mom go get it. Go get what he said my ice cream sandwich you said I had to eat first. That is what I said so I gave it to him at least it wasn't the first thing that he ate.

So Much Is Happening

2010-05-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

This is just a warning for any of you who read this. I turn my blogs into books and use them as journal type thing. This post is manly just for me so I can get things off my mind so read on if you don't mind talking about girl stuff and problems that girls go through.

So like this header says there is A LOT going on in my life right now. Some fun stuff is that we are getting ready to celebrate Ryan's 5th Birthday on Monday. Ryan has picked to have a bowling party and asks me everyday if he is 5 yet. I can't believe that I am going to have a 5 year old in a few days. More pictures of that to come next week. And I promise I will try and get them up next week. We thought that our lease was up in September here at our apartment. Well we found out that it is up in July the lease that we signed said that if you decided not to renew our contract that we would need to let the office know 60 days before we plan to move. So we have to be out in 59 days. That seems like a long time but it really isn't. It's already the middle of May and June is going to be a very busy month for our family. We really want to move back into the Townhouses that are in our ward. We are looking for a three bedroom. There are some available now but we can't move yet so that kind of stinks. I am trying to keep the mind set that every time that we have needed to move something has always worked out. I would love to find one of the houses in the townhouses to rent so we had a little bit of a yard but we will just have to wait a few more weeks and see what happens.
I am trying to get end of the year gifts done for Ryan's teachers. I am now taking care of my Grandpa on Wednesdays so that my Grandma can have a little bit of a break. My Gpa has Parkinson's pretty bad and is sucking the energy out of my Gma so I am happy that we are here to give her a few hour break. That and the boys seem to have fun. I am still working on Mondays and teaching the hair bow classes at Ribbons and Lace once a week. I try and work every other Saturday so we can have some extra money as well.
We are also in the process of declaring bankruptcy and yes we have looked into other options but this is the best for us. Between our house that is finally after 3 years going to auction and all of the medical bills it is going to work out better. It has been a very stressful time in our lives and hopefully when I finally turn all the paper work over to our attorney life will be better because I won't have to worry about it anymore.
Now for the not so fun part about me. I have had NO ENERGY at all lately. Here is the back story on how all of this started. I went to a new OBGYN a few months ago because I had heard good things about him from a few different people and they had told me that he is hard to get into so try and become an established patient before you get pregnant and you will have a better chance to have him as your doc. NO I AM NOT PREGNANT NO DO I PLAN TO BE IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!!! I told him that I get HORRIBLE MIGRAINES during my placebo week. I was on the ring for birth control. I loved the ring by the way. He told me that the migraines are because of a dip in estrogen. So he told me instead of doing the week of a period than put my new birth control in just not to have my period anymore just to put a new ring in right away. It worked out really well for three months. I didn't have a period for three months and along with that no migraines either. But then I forgot to get my ring ordered and I was a couple days late with the new one. I started bleeding and have been bleeding for over a month and a half now. Not just normal period bleeding either like bleeding when I was pregnant with Emily bleeding not bad enough where I had to get the diapers again but lots and lots of clots. I made an appointment to change my birth control because it is now $80.00 a month and I just don't have the money for that. So they put me on an actual pill. I don't do good with pills. The last time I was on a pill was when I was 15 when I kept having cyst issues and it gave me morning sickness. Sure enough this pill has done the same thing. I feel nauseous all the time some days are better than others but it has not been fun. At least when I feel like this when I am pregnant I can deal with it because I know at the end I will end up with a cute bundle of joy but I know that isn't happening right now. With the nausea and all the bleeding I totally feel like I did with Emily. I have called the Dr. and they really don't know whats going on either. I have been trying not to think about it but the thought is always in the back of my head. Granted I am not pregnant my body doesn't have a baby growing in me like last time so I am not so sick. But I keep thinking how long is it going to take how long before I am back in Cardiac ICU fighting for my life again. I know that I shouldn't have those thoughts but I guess that I am scared. I have always been low on Iron and now I am super low and I have no energy to do anything. But somehow I do because life has to go on. I still need to work and there are still therapy appointments to get to and soon there will be swimming everyday. The lack of sleep from worrying about all of this is finally taking its toll on me. I usually go to bed around 8-9 and leave Blaine to deal with the kids then I am awake around midnight when Blaine finally comes to bed and then I can't shut my mind off. Friday I finally asked Blaine and his dad to give me a blessing. Gary anointed and then Blaine gave me the blessing. It was crazy because as soon as Blaine started the words he spoke completely comforted me. He said that my Heavenly Father knows that I am worried about what is going on in my body. He told me that it would eventually go away and to be comforted. When he said the words that my Heavenly Father knew that I have been worried about this I just about lost it. I could feel that I am not alone. Blaine has been very supportive in whatever we needed to do we don't have medical insurance right now so every time we go to the Doctor it is out of pocket but if I needed to go back in he told me to go. He also said in the blessing that I would start to seep better and ever since Friday night I have been able to sleep better and it has now been a day in a half since I have had bleeding problems. The nausea is still there. I think I will give that another month and then see if we need to change pills.
I told you this isn't the funnest post in the world but I feel better to let it all out.

Easter Egg Hunt

2010-05-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

Our Easter egg hunt always happens in the Matthews front yard on Easter Sunday. That is the only time that we all can get together. We always have a TON of eggs and some have candy and some have toys since Cassie is a diabetic. There where so many eggs this year after we hid them all we just started throwing them on the grass to get them all out.Cameron got the idea real quick on how the Easter egg hunt thing worked.So excited that he got to keep an egghe got this shirt from his papa Bird for his birthday just in case you can't see what is says it reads "Screw Naps Lets Ride" yep its a Harley Davidson shirt I think he would love to go for a ride on Papa's bike.Cameron and his daddy chillin waiting for the other kids to come out to do the hunt. Do you think they are going to be hard to find?????Ryan always heads for the cars first. Some on the cars are better to find than others.
Back to those fun places in the back of papa's truck.There is nothing like gassy Easter EggsJust some cute pictures of my boysmy cute little Ryan showing off his loot
Cameron is so close to the waling thing. We figure in a few weeks and he may actually do it on his own.